


Spectrum

by CassanderRoshack



Series: Burn My Lungs & Curse My Eyes [1]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Abuse, Aftermath of Torture, Blood and Gore, Courtroom Drama, Depression, Drug Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Gore, Hostage Situations, Imprisonment, Kidnapping, M/M, Murder, NSFW, Organ Transplantation, Organized Crime, Organs, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Sexual Abuse, Substance Abuse, Survivor Guilt, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-02
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-02-27 07:18:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 36,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2684147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CassanderRoshack/pseuds/CassanderRoshack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After winning the game and receiving the reward of a new universe untouched by the tragedies the game caused in any way, the post-scratch kids are now living together in current day Houston, Texas. Through trials and tribulations, they have rekindled old relationships, claimed a dwelling of their own and have gone great lengths to make sure the future is theirs to do with as they will. Though outside forces are making sure this doesn't happen. On a triple date between the girls and Jake and Dirk to a local club, things get out of hand and arguments ensue. Unfortunately, no one would have guessed that the next morning Dirk would wake up naked and alone in a tub filled with ice. Nor that he would be zip tied and missing a few organs. </p><p>Find out what happens when Dirk's mental strength is strained and Jake's love for him is tested...<br/>While a killer, sharpens his knife behind them both.</p><p>Based on the series, "My Clarity" though not apart of the direct storyline.<br/>Some chapters are extremely violent. Please read at your own risk.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Push Play

                “No, Roxy, I don’t want to go to a club tonight.” Dirk flipped the fish in the frying pan with perfect skill. It sizzled with butter as he did it again. Because Dirk grew up in the middle of the ocean, he was actually quite the fisherman and knew how to whip up some of the best sushi, fish fillet, or anything else any of them had tasted. He and Jane had combined their culinary expertise for lunch that day to make one hell of a mini buffet. “But Dirkkk, come on, Jane and Jake wanna go. Don’t be a party pooperrr.” She groaned circles underneath her eyes from withdrawal. “You’re three weeks sober, why do you want to throw that all away?” He asked over his shoulder as Jane twirled around him with the cinnamon rolls. “I’m not gonna throw it all away! I just wanna go have some fun in the city. It’s been so long since we left the apartments! We can totally go and hang out- dance, be cool, maybe drink something nonalcoholic in my case. What’s the point of making those IDs for us if we’re not going to use them by never going out to be… I don’t know, people?”

                He sighed, “We do use them. We needed IDs just to live in this city, plus getting them to actually have backgrounds with social security numbers was hard enough. We use them for getting medication for Jake and I, supplies, your booze, and so on. And we do go out into the city and just for the reasons just mentioned.” The fish went soaring and the flame of the stove went over a foot high for a moment. He clicked off the burner, still letting the fish simmer. “We don’t need to go out partying when you’re having a hard enough time staying saber. Don’t think we didn’t find those hidden flasks underneath your dresser. Creative with the duct tape and all, but honestly, when you agreed to go sober we’re keeping you that way.”

                Roxy frowned before crossing her arms on the breakfast bar, going silent. Jane poked him with her spatula end and he looked up from his assault on the meat with spices. “Too tough, Dirk. She needs support just as much as she needs tough love.” She said softly and Dirk sighed, putting the last fish he was cooking on a plate before going up to Roxy. She was pouting now and he leaned down to look her in the eye that she still avoided to meet. “Roxy, you’re doing a great job so far.” Her pink eyes looked up at him and he smiled, “I’m proud of you making it this far, I really am. You just need to stay strong and away from the bottle. We want you around for a long time and the drinking won’t help that.” Roxy still pouted, “If I promise to stay away from the booze, will you agree to the club?” Dirk frowned for a few moments before running a hand through his hair, “Alright, I’ll go. But you have to be sober- no dancing on tables, no bar fights, and no stealing people’s cellphones to upgrade their chips without permission.” She bounced in her seat before hugging Dirk over the counter, “Oh thank you thank you thank you! I promise I’ll be good! This is going to be so awesome, just see!” He patted her back with one hand after giving her a squeeze.

                Jake peeked his head in, carrying a few bottles of juice, “What is going to be awesome now?” Jane smiled before taking two of the four bottles he had, “Dirk agreed to go to the club tonight with us.” He immediately lit up and leaned to kiss Dirk on the cheek on his way past to get the pitcher of water from Jane’s refrigerator since they ate in her apartment usually, “Glad you decided to join us, love.” Roxy was still grinning, watching the two of them as Frigglish jumped into her lap, demanding attention. “I think we’re even going to have a triple date tonight. Jane’s bringing Daddy Sugar Pipe and I met a guy named Danny last week at a bookstore. Really cute and offered to pay for the first round.” Dirk snorted, “Just put a sock on the door so we know to leave you two alone, Rox.” She grinned, “Same with you, Big D.” Jake blushed as Dirk started to laugh under his breath. Jane spluttered about her date being called ‘Daddy Sugar Pipe’. “His name is James and he’s perfectly respectable. Not a ‘Daddy Sugar Pipe’!” All three of them singed at the top of their lungs at once, “Jane and James, sitting in-“ She tossed a muffin at each of them, only managing to have Roxy and Jake catch theirs and then land one on the edge of Dirk’s glasses. They dissolved into laughter together before sitting down around the table together to have lunch.

                Dirk cleaned his glasses with his eyes shut, chewing the bit of muffin Jane had thrown- like he had was going to miss a chance to eat a pumpkin flavored muffin. “So where exactly are we going?” Jake asked, chewing his fish sandwich slowly. “The Blue5. It’s a great bar. Has cage dancers and live music- even neon drinks and body paint if you wanna go that direction. There is a band that plays there. Their lyrics are really dark but they like… pulse, ya know?” Roxy nodded like she agreed with her own words, licking her dark purple lips after she drank a large swallow of grape juice. “Must be a good band.” Jane nodded with wide eyes, “What are they called?” Roxy shrugged, “Something like California Undead or something.” She shrugged, “Not sure, I was kinda out of it the last time I was there. That reminds me!”

                The suddenness made them look up, Dirk sliding his sunglasses up his nose. “We have to watch our drinks there. There’s been a lot of stuff happening.” Dirk raised his eyebrow, “Stuff?” She sighed before brushing her hair back with her black nails. “Some girl got roofied. It’s a date-rape drug. Knocks you out cold and well… guys usually have their way with you and you wake up not knowing what happened.” Jane frowned, “That’s a real shitty thing to do.” She murmured, and Roxy nodded, “Yeah, but people do it anyway. We’ll just watch our drinks, I’m sure we’ll be fine.” They all murmured their agreement. “We’ll get dressed up to the nines and head out to this club of yours. Honestly I’m rather excited despite that rather bloody foul thing to do.” Jake nodded; Dirk offered a small smile in return at Jake’s look. They laced their fingers together underneath the table. “You guys are going to love it. It’s gonna be so awesome!” Roxy pumped her fist into the air. “We’ll leave late, party all night and have one Hell of a good time!”


	2. Painkiller

                The thump of the music could be heard from outside the club all the way down the street. It sounded almost like a heartbeat against the city sounds moving around them in the darkness. The group hadn’t really changed their outfits much. Dirk had spiked his hair more since his was far from naturally spiked like Jake’s, who somehow managed to get out of bed to look like he did every morning- much to Dirk’s displeasure and pleasure.  Everyone had included a jacket to their wardrobe though, it being late and fairly cool outside. Dirk kept silent mostly through the cab ride and now was smiling at they walked toward the source of the music. He had a passionate love for music in general, though it tended to stay more toward rap, he loved techno too. Jake grabbed his hand in his, following Roxy and Jane going into the crowded club. People jumping with the time of the music, neon lights flashed everywhere.  Even the dance floor that was obscured by legs was flashing in time with the music. There wasn’t just one place to look and Dirk’s head whipped around to look above him at a cage where a girl blew him a kiss.  All sorts of couples were there, tattoos brandished and piercings in places he wouldn’t want to even dream of putting metal in.

                Roxy was yelling over the music they should get drinks first and he pretended to forget about her agreement to stay sober. They needed this- to mingle and be around people besides just each other. Dirk followed her and his eyes widened at the sight of the bartender setting aflame a tall glass of neon orange drink. He grinned, “I think I know what I’m drinking!” He called out to anyone in particular. Jake had let go of his hand, telling him he was going to go get something called an ‘Emerald Zombie’. The music did pulse and thus did everything else- including in the corner where a few people were smoking and laughing loudly instead of dancing. Jake had already knocked back two shot glasses worth of something called Taurus 450 after downing a Emerald Zombie and received cheers from people they didn’t even know. Roxy was beside him suddenly and held up her glass to show him it was ginger ale. “Proud of you!” He yelled and she nodded with a grin, looking around before pointing at a man on the dance floor who looked a bit lost. “That’s him!” She yelled back and Dirk gestured with his head, “Well go get him, foxy!” Roxy pecked him on the jaw before running up to him, the man looking physically relieved to see her there. Jane and ‘James’ had gone off into a more private area- and by that, meant a darker are where Jake would have been dubbing their actions clearly as ‘snogging’.

                Dirk stayed by the bar, drinking the flaming drink first and not caring for it. It tasted like charcoal and went for more fruity drinks, ignoring all the things he’d seen in his life that told him never to mix his alcohol. He drank down Hurricanes, Mango Blasts, and started to see a bit of double before he cut himself off. By this time Jake was still with his new found friends but had moved on to other, stronger beverages. There was a presence by Dirk’s shoulder and he glanced up at another man. “Hey, stranger. Come here often?” Dirk glanced behind him to see if he was talking to someone else before shrugging, “First time, you?” He knew pick-up line when he heard one, but the alcohol was making him a bit… tipsy. Plus the new comer was handsome with dark hair and dark eyes will an air of confidence to him that made Dirk look up and keep his gaze locked. “A good amount. This place is pretty great huh?” Dirk nodded, sipping out of his glass again as the other man drank out of his whiskey glass. “Pretty cool. I like the neon everywhere.” He gestured around and peered at Jake who was laughing his ass off at something now. “I’m Nathanial, go by Nathan around here though.” The dark haired man offered his hand and Dirk took it, “Dirk. Nice to meet you.” Nathan smiled at the other before letting the bartender refill his glass, “You dance?” Dirk again looked at Jake one last time- who had clearly forgotten about him since coming into the club. “Yeah, actually.” Nathan left his glass on the bar, walking off towards the dance floor. He looked back at him and Dirk followed.

                They danced together, Dirk forgetting himself entirely as he had his back to Nathan. They grinded and Dirk found his hand on the back of Nathan’s neck, other hand on Nathan’s thigh, his back flush against Nathan’s chest, ass again Nathan’s crotch. Nathan’s hands were on his hips, guiding them to move with his own with the song’s tones. Dirk leaned his head back, a voice in the back of his head asking him what the fuck he was doing with someone that was clearly not Jake in a place that he should have been very uncomfortable with. The alcohol burned through his veins and he looked up to see if perhaps… Jake was getting jealous. The drunk part of him wanted Jake to come over and tell Nathan to step off, the sober part of him wanted to go home and sleep off the haze. He looked up to see Jake flirting with the bartender girl, talking wildly with a flail of his hands at times. Dirk stopped dancing with Nathanial, stepping away before kissing him on the cheek, “Thanks for the dance, but Cinderella has a shoe to catch.”

                If he had been sober, he would have smacked himself for that line. He turned away before seeing Nathan’s face or reaction. Dirk walked toward Jake, the music had taken a calmer- yet still loud enough to deafen someone for a while- note and he could hear him.

“Dirk has these rape fantasies about being drugged up and letting someone have their way with him! Heard him talking about it in his sleep I did! He’s a sick bastard- I can’t even understand it! But I still let him fuck me when he wants to- ya know- because I’m nice and all-”

Dirk swallowed between the hiccups and slurs from Jake, turning him around by the shoulder, “What the hell are you doing?!”

He blinked at Dirk before removing Dirk’s hand from his shoulder, “Noth’in! What are you doing?”

Dirk shook his head, “Nothing?! You were just talking about our sex lives to a bunch of strangers!” As if on command, a woman grabbed a handful of Dirk’s behind and asked in passing if it really was ten inches. He growled at him, “Jesus fucking Christ, Jake. What the fuck-“

 Jake talked over his voice, “OH bugger off! You’re so bitchy, Dirk. Bitch bitch bitch… All you do. Ever since those depression meds you been so much a dud- like you never wanna go out- and you’re always complaining- god why do I even bother with you-“ He hiccupped with a loopy grin, “Only jo’kin. I love you. Even if you are so bitchy and… and…” Dirk hadn’t been laughing this entire time, Roxy had walked up beside a rigid Dirk and Jane had James in hand coming toward them. “You know all that meds is sugar pills. Youu- You don’t have a damn thing wrong with you- fakkkkking it. Faking it all huh? Like how did you get them to agree to the meds anyway- causue it totally isn’t worth it for sugar bills- I mean pills…” He hiccupped, falling on Dirk who pushed him away from him where Jake leaned on his hand, “Dirrrkkkkk- come on, you’re being a littls bitch… bitch is a funny word…”

                Roxy had her hand over her mouth and shook her head, “Dirk, he’s drunk- he doesn’t mean any of what he just said.” Dirk had never been so tight lipped, “Just take him home.” Was all the said, and Jake stuck out his tongue at him, “you don’t even have depression you wanker, you’re making- it up-“ He hiccupped and Jane grabbed him before he went face first into the club’s dirty floor. “Dirk Dirk Dirkkkkkkkkkk-“ Jake mumbled, and tried to kiss him before once again Dirk pushed him away, “Why are you being so meannn…” he whined and Dirk finally snapped.

                 "Get the fuck off me, Jake! You act like I don't have feelings-like I'm-m some kind of fucking ROBOT!" He screamed at Jake, "Well, you're fucking wrong. You think I’m faking my meds? Watch me without them!” He searched in his pocket for half a second for the little portable pill case before throwing it at Jake’s chest. “Fuck you, Jake. Fuck you." It was more emotion than Jane or Jake had seen from him. Roxy frowned knowing it took him a long time to get this angry at Jake, reaching out her hand before he pulled away from her. "All of you just go the fuck home. I’ll find my own way back."

                It wasn’t the sense that Jake was drunk or that he was spilling every bit of private information between them that Dirk had ever shared with him. Dirk felt like he betrayed him by far. It was that Jake knew what he was saying. They said that drunks were the most honest people in the world… It was the fact that Jake thought all that about him, and more… and… Dirk swallowed, pushing through the crowd away from them with Roxy calling after him. She shook her head, turning to look at Jake to give him a tongue lashing but found him passed out quite literally on Jane- who was struggling to hold up the taller man. They dragged him out to a cab, Roxy looking back at the club. “Maybe I should stay and look for him.” She said to Jane as they got Jake into the car. “I want to go look for him too but I can’t get Jake up to the apartment by myself.” She was biting at her nails, looking back at the club too. “Damn- soon as Jake is in bed I’ll come back and look for him.” Roxy lamented before climbing into the cab as well. “Do you think he meant any of that?” Jane shook her head, “No… I think he was stupidly drunk and took out his frustrations in all the wrong ways…” Roxy swallowed, pushing Jake’s hair out of his face. “Do I act like that?” The other girl winced before shrugging, not really wanting to admit it to her, “Maybe at times but not this bad.” The paler frowned, “Dirk was right.” Jane asked about what and Roxy looked outside the window, “Everything. We shouldn’t have gone out. And I’m better sober…”  
  
~~~

                Dirk was sitting on an upturned crate behind the club, head in his hands. The door opened and he looked up at who came through it. Nathanial raised his eyebrows, “You look upset.” Dirk snorted, “Yeah, a bit.” He didn’t expound on the reason why before sighing, “My friends aren’t exactly my friends.” He came to that conclusion by a short thought process. If Jake felt like that, then Roxy and Jane probably did too. Nathan sat beside him on another crate, taking out his phone. “Wanna make them jealous that you’re going to have more fun than they are?” Dirk brushed his hair back, looking at the phone in his hand before nodding, “Fuck yes.” He growled the two words, doing the same pose with Nathan that he had once done with Jake. Snapping the picture before he sent it to himself, and then took out his own phone.

 “Sending it to your friends?” Dirk only nodded, fingers hovering over the keyboard… wondering what he should say. ‘ _Having more fun than you.’_ Just didn’t cover it. He didn’t feel like sending something rude like he could find anyone he wanted. He hated himself too much to put _‘Some people appreciate good things.’_  But also felt vindictive enough to write, _‘Break my heart once, shame on you. Break my heart twice, shame on me. –D’_ Deciding that was the chosen attached saying, he sent it. It was poetic and it portrayed just what he wanted. Nathan acted like he hadn’t seen it. He offered him a flask, “Let’s go inside and party, Dirk. It’ll take your mind off your friends.” Dirk looked at the flask before nodding. He didn’t have any friends outside of their now broken quartet and he’d be damned if he was going to go home to deal with a drunk Jake. He took the flask and downed a bit of it. It was strangely salty but shook his head after drinking it. It was powerful stuff, whatever it was, “Alright, come on,” He said before heading back inside the club.

~~~

                Roxy laid Jake down on the bed while Jane got his feet. “He’s going to feel like shit in the morning…” Jane nodded, “In multiple ways.” The girls sighed before Roxy checked her phone battery, “I’m going to go back to the club and look for him, okay? Stay with Jakey and make sure he doesn’t choke or anything.” Jane nodded, getting a bucket and a glass of water.  “Be careful please!” She called after her for Roxy to hum back her answer. She wrapped her scarf around her tighter before leaving down the elevator that Dirk had recently fixed for their apartment floor. It was more of a lift in all honesty. It was a quick ride down, a call for a cab to the crowded outside of the club, and a flash of a smile to get inside. She walked in, biting her lip suddenly. James and Danny had left early for different reasons but now she was glad. All the drama was not good for new relationships… or old ones, for that matter. Roxy looked where she could before asking the bartender that had been helping Jake earlier.

                “Hey! Hi! I’m looking for someone!” The bartender rolled her eyes, yelling over the music, “This isn’t the movies, princess. I don’t know every face that comes in here.” Roxy pursed her lips, holding up her phone, “Just look, it’s important. My… brother may do something stupid and you really don’t want that on this establishments ground do you?” The bartender looked up, and Roxy smiled knowing she’d said the right thing. The other woman looked at the picture, “It’s your lucky day. I do remember your ‘brother’. He drank half the supply I had of vodka, paid and left with some guy so out of his mind he couldn’t walk straight. Knocked over a couple people who nearly knocked the crap out of him. Kid he was leaving with said he was going to take him home now he didn’t drive. Went out the back and out of my hair- Good enough for me.” Roxy had wide eyes and bit her lip again, before saying thank you and hurrying back out the door. She called for him outside the back alleyways and hoped that she would find him at home. Roxy looked down at the sound of something plastic skidding across the alleyway ground when the edge of her boot hit it. Turning her phone light on, immediately she found Dirk’s orange cased phone. “Oh no…” She whispered, picking up the slightly dirty case and seeing the picture. “Oh no.”

~~~

                He was cold. Freezing, actually. His eyelids were heavy and he felt… Holy Hell, he hurt… Dirk tried to blink his eyes open and saw blackness- the blood- he was naked too. He thought he was in the game for a moment, or one of his nightmares. The florescent lightning was nearly blinding him and he moved- the pain shooting through his back. He gasped, wincing and hearing ice clink around in water. He shielded his eyes, letting them adjust before- _Oh my god, I’m in a tub of ice._ Dirk swallowed, breath coming a bit fast- he was in so much pain he could barely think. He tried to grip the edge of the tub but couldn’t manage it- nearly drowning himself as a consequence. “Hello?” His voice cracked, nausea setting in. “Is anyone out there!?” He couldn’t panic now- he had to get out of this tub- had to- to- get help. The door had opened with a bang, interrupting his train of thought and nearly scaring him- more than he already was- shitless. The footsteps leading toward him made his heart freeze. Nathanial stood above him in medical scrubs.

                “Good morning, Dirk.” He whispered and Dirk’s eyes dilated. Nathanial had done this- he’d… drugged him and done something else to him. “How’s my new best boyfriend, huh?” Nathan smiled, coming closer to check things that Dirk was only now noticing he was strapped or connected to. “What did you do to me?” He croaked and Nathan hummed, “Oh… just removed your kidney. Don’t worry though, it’ll grow back.” The other man grinned at him, “I wasn’t kicked out of Harvard Medical for my ideas on stem cells but as you can see, you’re just fine. This is the future, for Christ sake. You would think that they would accept a lifesaving technic. But they also got mad because I was using live test subjects but you know what I say to that? Without testing the product, we just can’t figure out how we can push it until it breaks.” He continued talking while Dirk looked around for some sort of weapon. He had enough crazy people in his lifetime and he’d be damned if he was going to let some bastard keep him captive- with or without his kidney.

                “You know a kidney goes for over ten thousand dollars now days? And you were just so healthy. I felt you when we were dancing together- great moves by the way- that you were muscular, well defined, and so wonderfully good. Then when I got you home, oh my god! You just perfect! Above perfect health, your body had almost seven percent body fat. Were you military? You have calluses on your hand from sword fighting.” Nathanial injected something into the IV line into Dirk’s hand. It burned and Dirk nearly cried out. “You are such an enigma… No one else I’ve met is like you. It’s like you were meant for me.” He whispered the last part coming closer and smashing their mouths together.

                Dirk tried to push him away by couldn’t, Nathanial had him by the jaw- he tasted like blood. He coughed when Nathan pulled away. “I’m going to take good care of you, I promise.” He whispered with a smile and brushed a hand through his hair, “I’ll move you into your own special little room soon. Just a few more days on ice and I’ll move you. You’re just so handsome I can’t wait to start a family with you- Oh, but not so fast. Much to do first.” Dirk swallowed, looking up at him with fear as Nathan took some of the tools that were still laying around and put them a in case he’d brought in with him. His smile was so sickening, “Wouldn’t want you to slit your wrists like the last few.” He smiled at him and left out the door, turning off the lights now it was completely dark. “Don’t worry Dirk, I’m going to take good care of you.”


	3. Bad Moon Rising

Jake woke with his entire head pounding like the beat of a drum. He blinked slowly, reaching his hand to find where Dirk was. He covered his face with his hand, still blindly searching for him. Did he sleep in his own apartment last night? They hadn’t done that in a while. The night before was such a blur, the blaring music and neon flashes. Not finding him he slowly cracked open both of his eyes, shutting them immediately. Was this what Dirk felt like when he didn’t have his glasses? The hand now found his own glasses, sliding them onto his nose and he groaned sitting up, feeling like he was leaving half of his brain behind with the movement. “Bloody hell…” He murmured, sitting up only to have his head go face first into his legs. His head felt terrible as the rest of them. It took him a few moments for him to struggle up, glancing at aspirin and water on the bedside along with a bucket. His throat didn’t feel sore so he assumed he managed to keep it all the alcohol down. That was a miracle in itself, he felt along the wall, heading toward Dirk’s apartment to see if he was doing alright. He stopped short at the girls in the hallway. He frowned at their expressions. Jane was worried and upset; Roxy’s was the same, though it had lines of anger on it.

                “Morning… why the gloomy faces…?” He asked softly, the sound of his voice breaking the silence though he felt like it shouldn’t have been interrupted. Jane bit her lip before going forward, “Jake… do you remember anything from last night?” She asked gently as Roxy turned her head completely away from him, as if she couldn’t look at him in the eye. Jake straightened, blinking a bit. It was hazy; a blur still like it had been when he woke up. “We went to a club and we partied, was there something I missed?” He asked, brows raised and glancing at Dirk’s door that was shut tight. Jane bit her lip, “Jake…” She looked at Roxy for aid, though she was entirely no help being still tight lipped with arms crossed leaning against her door. “Dirk is missing.” Jane sighed and Jake blinked, a full thirty seconds pause before he laughed, “Had me going there for a moment, Jane. Golly, know how to scare a fellow.” He walked up to Dirk’s door and walked into the room, Jane following him and Roxy coming as well. Jake walked into the apartment to see nothing had been touched, “Dirk?” He called, opening up the bedroom to find it empty. He turned around after another pause, eyes resting on the girls. Roxy looked to the point of tears again, Jane just looked tired. “You…what?”

                Jane swallowed, “Last night… you were drunk. Really drunk, and you said some things to him that…” She poked her fingers together and Jake shook his head, “Jane, just tell me! What’s happened- where is Dirk?!” Roxy stepped in finally, “You basically told him everything that he’s scared of hearing from you.” She was back to angry again emotional wise, “You didn’t believe he was depressed, you hated him and didn’t love him, you were yelling about your sex lives to everyone at the bar and now Dirk is gone!” She was crying now, shaking her fist at him, “He hasn’t had his medicine in two days and we can’t find him and you- you act like we’re joking?! How could you say that to him!? Even drunk, I thought you loved him enough to take care of him!” Jake worked his mouth but no sound came out, eyes wide with fear before shaking his head, “I don’t remember any of that- I wouldn’t- I-…” He swallowed, “What about his cellphone? Can you track him?” What had he done- gotten so drunk he was just picking on people and Dirk got the blunt of it? “ _Oh god, Dirk- Dirk-“_ His name repeated in his head. Jane took out a dirty orange cased phone from her skirt’s pocket. “Roxy went back to the club to look for him but this was all that was left.” Roxy had to step out for a moment at that, consumed with worry and guilt she hadn’t stayed to look for him.

                Jake took the phone in his hands, feeling his own press into his thigh before taking it out. “Maybe he sent me-“ He typed in his lock code, only to see a text message from Dirk. Relief flooded his chest for a moment before he opened it, which new dread just took its place a second later. _‘Break my heart once, shame on me. Break my heart twice, shame on you.’_ Jake stared at it while Jane looked down at the carpeting of Dirk’s apartment. He looked at the picture of the man and Dirk, feeling his heart sink down. The man knew he’d fucked up badly this time… there wasn’t a way of coming back from this. “He’s not missing… he found someone else.” He whispered, locking the phone. _“I deserve that. After what Roxy said I shouted at him… he deserves to have someone else.”_ Jane shook her head, “Jake, what if he’s in trouble. He wouldn’t have just dropped his phone like that. He doesn’t have his medication either-” The taller swallowed, “It was dark and we were all drunk, he’ll… he’ll probably come back for it.” He plugged it into Dirk’s charger cord before sitting down on the steps leading into the living room of the apartment. A little dumbstruck at all of this information. The mix of a hangover, being dumped for a damn good reason and realizing that he’d probably just lost the love of his life… suddenly hit him very hard. He looked at his own phone again, his brain noting that Dirk didn’t smile in this picture, but noticed the way the other man had his hand on Dirk’s side. _“He left me.”_

xXx

                His head knocked painfully into the opposite end of the cage’s opening. Granted, he had probably deserved that in some weird, twisted sense since he had just bitten Nathanial quite hard on the hand. Leave him in an ice bath for nearly two days without any food and he’d find out how much a Strider could kick ass- even with a large wound on his back that near made him crippled. Dirk blinked, the lighting was darker in here- wherever here was. The smell was repugnant and gagged him a bit. His eyes adjusted slowly to the new lighting and more of the room became clearer. He was in a cage. Not tall enough for him to stand in, but enough for him to be on his knees. It was wide enough to lay down in as well- a dog kennel, just like the one they had in Jane’s apartment for Bec. He winced, trying to push himself up off the grimy floor- just what he needed in a wound. Dirk hissed, pushing himself up, one arm curling toward him to relieve some of the pressure on that side of his body.

                “You were naughty, Dirk. Now you have to be in time out. Didn’t I give you a bath? Didn’t I take care of you? Then you go and bite me? That’s just not going to fly.” Nathanial hit the cage with a crowbar that caused Dirk to swallow. He knew that would leave a nasty bruise if it ever hit him. “An hour in the cage and then I’ll let you go play with the others.” Dirk frowned at the comment, not answering him. _“This sick bastard has others trapped here?”_  His eyes wandered again as Nathan retreated toward a steel door. They were underground somewhere judging by the concrete walls, the steel doors might have been from some sort of subway. Dirk swallowed again, thirst starting to become more than a nag in the back of his mind. He caught a glimpse of what was behind the door and immediately felt frozen. He saw glass jars of red liquid. Of what, he couldn’t see very well. His distance vision sucked- hence one of the many reasons he used swords and not more practical weapons like guns. While Nathanial was gone he leaned back, blond hair touching the top of the cage. His left arm curled around his chest as the other hand tested the door quietly. Escape was still top spot on his priority list.

                The door didn’t budge and he leaned down to exam the lock. It was well made, and would be impossible to break open with force… maybe a lock pick? He looked around the cage floor, hand running against the dark sticky surface. “Gross.” He murmured as his hand hit something fleshy and he shivered, feeling sick suddenly but ignored it for now. Throwing up was not going to do him any good, especially wrenching when he was sown up like a voodoo doll. Dirk found something sharp and let a smile grace his features- finally some good luck in Hell. He pulled it up to look out at it and nearly dropped it for a moment. A bone splinter lay in his hand. It was human from the size and it made him sicker on his stomach than he already was. The man brushed his hand through his hair worriedly before going to the door. He’d only picked a lock maybe once or twice in his life- neither of them having good outcomes. Dirk slid the sharp end into the front of the lock, eyes staring blankly ahead of him in order to feel the inside of the metal piece. All Striders, even Dave when he had known him, had very sensitive hands and fingertips. A part of him realized that only he and Jake knew that now. The Dave that had raised him was long sense dead with Rose, John and Jade…  They would be born again, of course, but at the same time, it suddenly made Dirk scared.

                What if he wasn’t there? What if Dave was sent back from the cosmos super frog or whatever made the ‘fate’ decisions now and he was still in this cage? What if he didn’t… True, his older brother hadn’t been there- but honestly was that even his fault when in Dirk’s timeline there was a dictator trying to take over the galaxy that Dave fought bravely against and lost his life to? Dirk used to not understand that, but after playing the game, he understood perfectly. Sometimes the good of the many really did out way the good of the few. The younger Dave he had met inside the game had been alright he supposed and still broken up about his own brother’s death. _“What if I’m dead before he even is born?”_ Dirk swallowed, resting his forehead on the cage door for a moment. He was being held prisoner by a psychopath that took organs for shits and giggles and he was locked in a cage that he couldn’t get the door open to. If things got grimmer he wasn’t sure what he’d do… _“Where are you when I need you, Jake?”_ He sighed and started working on the lock again. Dirk had never even known what color his brother’s eyes were. If he was normal living in a damn concrete box in the middle of the fucking ocean… He was alone then, he was alone now, and he was the only person who was going to help himself out of this mess. He had to be there for his little brother- for Roxy to make sure that she stayed sober- to make sure Jane didn’t burn the damn fish and to kick Jake in the nards so hard he would yodel for a month.

                The new found inspiration was enough for him to hope, and thus keep picking at the lock until it opened with a clink. He let out a happy, yet startled breath crawling out of the cage, fingernails getting grim underneath them but he didn’t care. He had little time and he wasn’t going to waste a damn moment of it. He held his side, limping out of the door he’d been dragged through earlier. Dirk could still see the water mark he’d left behind when Nathanial dragged him. Thankfully he wasn’t naked anymore, just in gray scrubs that looked like a mental patient had once used. Dirk put a hand on the wall to steady himself as he moved quickly down the hall, breath coming a bit fast. His side and back burned like they were on fire and someone was just pouring salt in the wounds. He gritted his teeth, pushing on with the bone shard scraping the wall a little still in his hand. The place was like a maze, long corridors that looked the same. Dirk whispered in his own mind, afraid to break the silence with his voice, _“Right… Left… Right… Right… Left…”_ If anyone had seen Dirk when he saw a red exit sign, they would have thought he was pathetic that he almost broke down. After nothing but identical hallways, to see a legitimately glowing red sign that said ‘Exit’ on it nearly made him cry. He let out a rigid breath before struggling toward it.

                He heard Nathanial before he saw him. Felt him before he saw him too. Dirk’s eyes were still locked on the door when something hard and heavy smacked into his arm, breaking it. He let out a scream of pain, the bone shard dropping. “How dare you! Don’t I- Don’t I take care of you?! Don’t I give you everything you want?!” Nathanial screamed and raised a rubber mallet over his head, Dirk’s eyes widened and he rolled. It slammed into the concrete and was raised again. It wasn’t the first time he had a broken bone. The time when he was younger that he broke his hand by getting it caught in a robot’s chest case and with no one else around he had to search how to mend a broken bone on his own. His hand still didn’t have feeling in the last two fingers. Dirk knew he couldn’t fight him with wound and a broken arm, so he rolled out of the way of the mallet again, it stuck in the ground and Dirk made a break for the door. Nathanial got him around the collar, smacking him into the concrete wall. He hissed, biting and clawing at him with his other arm. His body screamed in pain but so did he. Dirk had always been known to be a dirty fighter when he sparred with the others; he was also known to be much worse when he was backed into a corner. He bit Nathanial on the shoulder, scratching him on the side of the face hard enough to make him bleed. Nathan hit him across the face hard enough to disorient him for a moment before he was moving out of his grip to get to the door again. Dirk reached for the door and fingers barely scraped the door knob before the mallet connected with the back of his head and he went into darkness.


	4. Adrenaline

Jake flipped through the papers in his hand; a myriad of orange prints (not blue prints as normal people would order), rough sketches, part orders, receipts of sales and mismatched notes. He was in Dirk’s apartment, eyes narrowed at the piles of rubbish- or in his terms rubbish since they were just spare parts and tools- that was lying around. There was so many there- he wasn’t really sure what he was looking for either. Something perhaps to take his mind off of the fact that Dirk had been _gone_ for two days. No word on any line of communication- and Jake had made sure every one of them including smoke signals was open for him to use if he wanted… Roxy hadn’t spoken to him and Jane was checking all the avenues that she could under the assumption, as Jake asked her to, that Dirk was simply with someone else. But as each passing second continued to click away against the clock, he started to wonder if Roxy had been right. Dirk would have never dropped his phone, he was upset and alone, with someone that none of them knew, had taken a picture with this unknown person and he was the last one to see Dirk besides a bartender who claimed that Dirk was so drunk he couldn’t stand. Each one of them knew Dirk was not a lightweight and cut himself off far before he ever got that drunk. Jake sighed, rubbing his temples, reading through a few of the orange penned notes. He needed to just… stay calm.

                The more he looked into the apartment, the more it seemed to depress him. Dirk was an absolute genius from how he could make things work. He knew just what parts fit into what, how to make them turn or move, how to make a mechanical heart beat just like a human’s could. Jake swallowed, knowing that he didn’t compare. Yes, he was intelligent and knew his way around with a wrench- even Dirk had honored him with his own set of tools last holiday- though he knew that he couldn’t put as much detail into this machinery as the blonde did. “Dirk.” He sighed, wanting to just say the name. Jake stopped short at one of the paper sketches of robots. His face was mixed in with them; a position he’d been in a few weeks ago- half thrown into the armchair of the room, shirtless and tired from a workout. Like his work, Dirk had added detail into the sketch so much it almost looked like a black and white photograph made of just lines. Another one was him eating a bowl of ramen noodles, and another of him just smiling at Dirk- which had been far more recent.  Jake shut his eyes, letting the sketches fall back to the table, revealing an actual photo… it was a group shot they’d taken at the beach when the world had been created. They had all woken up on the shoreline, the world recreated after they won the game. The group had been so scared and broken from their experience that they had sat on the beach for hours huddled together and watching the waves roll in. The picture had been suggested by Jane and taken by Dirk since he had the longest arms. The blond had been seriously thin; Roxy’s lips were her normal shade since she had run out of lipstick, Jane had a crack in her glasses and Jake had a harsh cut on his forehead. They all were smiling though, relieved to be alive and together. Too many deaths, too many narrow escapes, too many hours praying and crying.

                Jake rubbed his eyes before setting down the picture. They all had a copy of it. It showed how far they had truly come from the sixteen year olds who had entered SBURB. He frowned, remembering the conversation he and Dirk had had. They were mentally around forty because of the time traveling and twisting the different areas. But physically, they were about twenty-one or twenty-two, the former being what their ID cards stated that Dirk had made for them. Jake stood finally, wondering through the apartment back into main hallway. All of their doors were open as per usual and he knocked on Roxy’s. She was leaned over her large pink wall computer. Roxy glanced up at the sound of him coming in, but didn’t say a word. “Roxy, I know you’re angry with me. Trust me, I share the feeling.” He swallowed looking at the black shag carpet. “But… I’m starting to think you’re right about Dirk. The circumstances are worrisome and…” He scratched the back of his head. “I’m sorry… I won’t stop saying that. Especially to him I just… have to know he’s alright.”

                Roxy turned her chair toward him, eyes still red rimmed from the lack of sleep and tears. In many ways, Roxy was like Dirk with trying to hide her emotions, though never very successful as he was, “You’re an asshole. A jerk and- and- so much more. No one deserved that- even drunk.” She shook her head angrily, “But I’m glad you came to your senses.” The woman sighed, “It isn’t me you need to apologize to for the rest of your life.” She turned her chair and gestured with her hand for him to come closer. Jake knew he deserved every bit of that and walked to her, pulling up one of the spare chairs. “What is it?” Roxy tapped a small box in the corner of her computer screen reading ‘98% complete’. “It’s taken me two days to get to that point. I’m the best hacker in this country and it still took me two days to get past the FBI’s firewalls and defenses.” Jake blinked, “Wait what? Why are you hacking the FBI? Can’t they trace it back to you?” Roxy gave him a look, “Not when I leave a trail through almost twelve hundred other cities and lead them to a lot worse people than me. I replaced a boom recipe with cupcake instructions from Jane last week. They’ll be lucky if they figure out what’s happening for another three days.” She muttered and it went to ‘99%’ mid-conversation. “But why?” Roxy shrugged, “I’m going to use their facial recognition software to trace the guy in the picture. If he has prior convictions I can get his address from his case file since police agencies report most of their files to them… then we can go find out what happened to Dirk ourselves from this guy.” Jake blinked before wrapping his arms around her, “You’re brilliant, Roxy!” He looked back as it hit 100% and Roxy blushed, “Just thought about it... Since we have a picture, why not use it?” Dirk usually the one complimenting her on how brilliant she was. The entire group was intelligent but they all had their areas of expertise. So many just assumed with them; Dirk was anti-social and depressive, Jake was an idiot, Jane was a ‘typical’ girl and Roxy was a drunkard. Dirk firmly believed that she was _the_ best hacker in the world, as did Jane and Jake. Meanwhile Jane went above and beyond in cooking skills, Jake with marksmanship, Dirk with robotics. Just because they didn’t do well in some things, did not mean they were worthless. And more often than not, they had to remind each other of that.

                She held her hand out for Jake’s phone, which he immediately handed it over. She sent herself the picture, cropped it to show only the face, and marked it into their system. “I don’t know how long this will take… there are millions of criminals. He may not even have a record…” She murmured, biting her lip. “It’s not a fast lead but it’s the only lead we have…” Jake shook his head, “Any is better than none. Don’t worry about how long it takes. We just need to find this man and see if Dirk’s alright.” There was a short pause, “What… are we going to do if he really is alright.” There was silence between them, “Or if he isn’t.” She added with a whisper, watching the faces flip past on her computer screen.

xXx

                When Dirk woke, he stayed still as he possibly could besides his chest rising and falling. Not sure how exactly what had woken him, he realized how terribly he hurt. So badly he didn’t wish to move even if he wasn’t playing dead. His head was just felt like it was in pieces and swollen. His lips were dry, and he felt too weak to do it even if he wanted to. His fingers twitched shooting a pain through his arm. Dirk felt a tug on his collar and opened his pale blond lashes to see Nathanial dragging him down the hall by the back of his gray scrub shirt. He was muttering, words Dirk could only just barely pick up over the sound of his own heartbeat pulsing in his ears. “I may have been wrong to keep you away from others. Humans need friends. I’ll let you play with the others for a little while. You’ll be much better then, I’m sure.” Dirk felt his eyelids about to slam shut again, so weak he couldn’t even shiver from the cold ground he was being slid across. There was a bang of a door and a soft gasp from somewhere in the room. “You have a playmate now. Isn’t he beautiful? Much better than the others- make sure you take care of him. He brought it on himself, you know.” Dirk collapsed on the ground when he let him go, his orange eyes slowly opening to a florescent light bulb hanging above him, swinging back and forth like… he didn’t complete the thought, passing out again.

xXx

                He was dreaming. It was nice, simple and for a moment was his escape. He had never slept well before the game because of having a constant waking and sleeping self, and it had been even worse after it from the horrors they had all gone through. Jake had sent the nightmares away most nights… but now he was gone. The dream was not a nightmare for once but instead a memory; they were dancing in the snow like when they had gone on a trip to New York a year ago. Since only Roxy and Jane had seen snow, both he and Jake had found it fascinating. They were just dancing, a slow spinning waltz, when Jake had asked him where he had learned to dance like that. Jane had grinned at the remark, knowing she had taught both of them how. Roxy and her clapped as they spun in Time’s Square, while the shops were shut down and the snow fell around them. It was nice… so very… very nice.

                He woke slowly and unwillingly, knowing what he was waking up to. It would have been nicer to die in his sleep, be stuck in the dream forever. Just dancing and never tiring. Nothing had been wrong inside the dream- now he was _here_ again. Dirk felt himself propped up on something, it felt like scratchy material of wool blankets. Water dripped down on his face and there were gentle movements of someone using a towel against his cheek. His eyes slowly opened and the towel rose up a bit. “Sir?” A female’s voice asked, and he blinked unsure what to say, brain sluggish to answer her. He didn’t know what to say even when his mind cleared a bit. She was about the same age as he was, dark blond hair put into an uncombed and messy ponytail. She had bandages around every part of skin he could see including the neck and fingers. The bandages were bloody though her face was mostly clear of the white gauze material. When he didn’t answer she swallowed, “I’m Jenna.” She smiled gently, her voice soft. Her uniform was a faded pink, blood splattered like his was now, with a noticeable bump around her stomach.

                “I know you probably hurt a lot.” She said with a sigh, “Can’t do much about that, but I’ll need to set your bone soon.” Dirk blinked before looking down at his arm, it was at an awkward angel from where the mallet had hit it. The throb he could ignore- he’d cut off his own head before for Christ sake. He looked around the room as she kept speaking softly to him, “Besides the head injury, do you have anything else?” She asked and Dirk raised his other hand to gingerly touch the back of his head. The welt there was almost the size of a baseball and it hurt to even hover his fingers near it. If he didn’t have brain damage he would be seriously surprised. “I’m missing a kidney…” He croaked, breath coming out of his mouth feeling like sand it was so dry. Jenna offered him a little bottle. “Here, drink some. We have enough water thankfully.” She nodded, pushing back the rat nest of hair and trying to comb her fingers through it. “I’m really such a mess, sorry about the terrible introduction.” Dirk shook his head then realized how badly that hurt and stopped immediately. “Don’t worry about it.” He murmured resting his head- the uninjured side- on the mess of blankets behind him, “I’m Dirk.” He swallowed; this sick bastard had someone else here to torture.

                “How long have you been here?” He dared ask, glancing at her stomach. Very pregnant. “Oh about seven months.” She shrugged as there was suddenly banging and screaming from upstairs. Dirk had looked up in fright, while she just seemed to know the sound now. “Don’t worry, I’ll be next.” His head turned toward her and Jenna was still smiling, though it seemed forced, “Next?” Jenna nodded, “He only keeps two- that’s all he can manage. And he alternates between the gender of who he kills.” Dirk swallowed, “So… he killed the last male he had… and that’s why I’m here.” She nodded and she looked at her fingertips that were covered by bandages. “Bobby.” Jenna pointed to the source of a smell that had made him gag not too long ago.

                 A body was slowly swinging from a noose; impaled through the chest from some sort of twin pole- after a moment he realized it was a pair of tree clippers. Dirk swallowed, looking to her. “He’s going to do that to you?!” Jenna shook her head, “Not yet.” There was a pause and Jenna swallowed, “Dirk… I have to give you the same advice that Bobby gave me when I came here.” Her darkened eyes were tearful, “Don’t fight him… whatever he does to you… it only makes it worse. A lot worse.” Dirk was about to ask what she meant by that too when the door banged open revealing a very angry Nathanial.


	5. Iron

Jake groaned, being woken by Roxy smacking his shoulder, “Jake! Jake!” She hissed, hitting his arm until he moaned, “Bugger off…” He grunted, curling nearly on himself in his chair beside the computer. Roxy grabbed a handful of his hair, yanking hard since the smacking wasn’t working. He cried out, waking completely. “Jesus Roxy!” He yelped, rubbing the back of his head and she snarled, “Wake up! I found him!” Jake frowned, not understanding what she meant for a moment before he jerked toward the computer screen. There was the cropped picture on one side and a nasty looking mugshot of the said individual on the other. The word ‘Match’ in capital letters on top. Roxy had her hand over her mouth as Jake glanced at her and read the readout of information.

Name: Nathanial Bartholomew Morris  
Aliases: Nathan Morris, Bart Morris, Daniel Clemons, Archer Halden  
Age: 26  
DOB: 08/21  
Place of Birth: Austin, Texas  
Hair C: Brown  
Eye C: Blue  
Height: 6ft 3.2inches  
Weight: 289lbs.  
Sex: Male  
Race: Caucasian  
Nationality: North American  
Occupation: Full-time student (Harvard Medical)  
Scars and Marks: Mole on left ear.  
Charges:  
-Multiple counts of assault  
-One count of kidnapping  
-Two counts of statutory rape  
Location:  
909 Navasota St  
Austin, TX  
Notes:  
Currently on house arrest. Trial is currently postponed due to prosecutors daughter missing and judge ailment.

                Jake leaned back in his chair, heart-stricken and panic in his eyes, “Oh my god-“ He whispered and Roxy swallowed, “What are we going to do with that, Jake?” The Englishman couldn’t speak at all for a few moments, “We have to get to the address, right now.” He told her so softly his voice could have been a creak in the window, “Go wake Jane- I’ll get the coats.” Roxy frowned turning to him in her spinning chair, “Jake- we aren’t heroes anymore- we can’t just break into someone’s house or-“ She blinked her eyes to look back at him. Jake was very pale and looked almost sick. Without saying a word Roxy stood to move toward Jane’s apartment and letting herself in. Moments later Jane was putting on her coat behind Roxy, eyes tired and clear that she hadn’t been sleeping. “Tell me on the way.” She waved off Jake’s explanation as they took the elevator down. Jake stared at himself in the reflective surface. _“What have I done?”_

xXx

                Dirk nibbled on the end of the slice of apple he had been given. Nathanial had come in, screamed at them for a little while before leaving. It was unnerving, but it wasn’t any worse than Jake and him on a bad day when they fought. Their captor had returned to drop off a basket of food briefly. Some of it was rotten while the more recent bits were still somehow good. Jenna had cut apart the apple with a piece of glass she’s managed to hide. Not to mention the girl was surprisingly good company. Dirk somehow saw a lot of Jane in her. Chipper attitude, down to Earth at the same time, and had a nice smile. They were in a conversation about foot supplies at the moment, between Dirk asking questions about escaping. “Don’t worry, for about a week after you first get here he only drops off a bit of food. He won’t be coming back for a bit. Though it’s going to be a bit harder with the supply with two people, but I’m sure we’ll manage.” Jenna sounded calm about that, like she had lived through it a thousand times and would a thousand times more. “So he drops off food weekly for us to live on?” She nodded, trying to keep what was good fresh in a little make shift box she’d gotten. Dirk frowned, “Makes escape a little difficult.” He drawled, more than a little sarcastically.” Jenna shrugged one unbandaged shoulder, “Escape is impossible while he’s here. I’ve only tried once and I’m not too keen on doing it again.” There wasn’t a hint of regret in her voice, just a bit of pain. "Skin sells for five hundred dollars a yard according to Nathanial." The bandages made sense now.

                Dirk bit off some of the apple now, “Jenna, we have to escape here.” He urged quietly, about to add something when she laughed under her breath, “Where do you think we are, Dirk?” The question he hadn’t expected, “Subway station? Pump room?” There were dials on the wall that should have been for a pressure tank but past that he wouldn’t know without seeing the rest of the machinery- or else he might explode something- especially if it was for gas. Jenna shook her head, “No Dirk, we’re in a house somewhere in West Texas. I saw the entrance when he brought me here, but past that I have no idea where we are- too drug to care at the time. And there are a million and a half things that will get in the way of us escaping. Bobby made it the farthest I guess- he tasted fresh air before he got a knife in his back. Literally.” Dirk let out a long sigh, “This is such a shit situation…” She murmured her acknowledgement before shrugging, “But hey, we shouldn’t give up hope. You may be the lucky one.” Jenna  smiled at him, “You have people to go back to right?”

                Dirk shrugged, “Probably not. An hour before I got kidnapped my boyfriend told me he hated me, my sister defended him and my best friend is in love with my boyfriend so the avenue has probably already been taken.” Jenna looked up, making a face, “Ouch.” Dirk nodded, “What about you, don’t you have someone to go back to?” She shook her head, “No… it’s been seven months…  I’m six months pregnant… I doubt my fiancés still there.”  Dirk’s eyes widened slightly, immediately noticing the time difference. That bastard had raped her… and… His eyes fell to her stomach that protruded largely. “I’m so sorry, Jenna.” She looked up, following his line of sight and she shrugged. “Bad things happen sometimes… I fought… and… I lost. You come to terms with that after being down here long enough.” She whispered softly before turning her head to look at him. Tears in her eyes but a smile still on her face. The man shook his head, “You shouldn’t have to be so strong, Jen. I’ll figure out a way to get us out of here… both of us.” He murmured and Jenna laughed again, “It’s alright if you don’t though. Even if I’m still around when you leave, I’ll manage.” Dirk shook his head, “There is a difference between managing and living, and you deserve to live. Don’t forget it.” Jenna smile broadened, and now he could the difference between her fake and her real smile.

                She scooted over to her him on her knees, “Alright, I’m going to have to set this bone now.” Jenna let out a long breath, “Don’t worry, I went to nursing school.” He chuckled, “Did you… that makes me feel better.” Jenna shook her head, “No sarcasm from you, you’re worse than my fiancé. My mother called him ‘The Smartass’ for the first two years we dated.” He nodded, showing he was listening to her as he tried to relax now she could set the bone without too much difficulty. She started to talk to herself like she was reading from a manual. “You need to realign the bone in the proper place.  In this situation, the two bone fragments are essentially sitting next to each other and you need to move one on top of the other.  This means you will be doing the same thing you would do for a simple fracture, but more extreme.  You need to pull the one bone fragment hard enough that you can replace it at the end of the other bone fragment and then line everything up…” She whispered and looked up at Dirk who had his orange eyes narrowed a bit- learning, just in case he needed it for another time.  He tried to stretch his arm out but it hurt something terrible. He couldn’t keep in that position so Jenna moved it while he was in the process. There was a scream and pound of a fist into the ground before he took several seething breaths through his teeth. “Have that bastard come at me again- I’ll show him what a broken boon feels like.” Jenna winced before grabbing a few broken sticks from the litters of piles around them. Nothing was really useable. The room had a bit of everything in it- like a storage room that had gone terribly wrong. She found some twine and made a tourniquet out of it.

                “Don’t try to fight him Dirk… Bobby made that mistake.” She whispered glancing at where the body had been. Nathanial had taken it down in his rant but the blood stain where the body had dripped was still there. The rust was hard to tell the difference from the blood in the room and Dirk lowered his gaze. “We should fight- just to make that bastard know we aren’t going to be treated like this.” The light moved from where it hung as someone walked above them and he squinted up, the light making his eyes burn. Jenna took that moment to switch the subject. “You have light sensitivity?” He nodded, lowering his gaze again. His head had stopped hurting as bad as it had but it was still a dull ache. “Photophobia, yeah. I have a lack of pigment in my eyes... My sisters albino.” He told her and she blinked, “Did you go to school too for medical? Not a lot of people know the other term for light sensitivity.” He shook his head, managing a very small smile. “Google.” Jenna grinned again, “That _is_ medical school now days.” Dirk chuckled and she sighed, leaning back against the wall had was doing, “You know what I miss the most?” Dirk hummed softly, letting her lean on his uninjured shoulder and he rested his head on top of hers, both of them seeking small comfort of human touch that wasn’t abusive. “Chocolate.” She sighed, “And wine. Maybe together. I’m going to eat and drink a truckload of it.” Dirk smiled, never actually liking sweets too much- or alcohol for that matter. “I think I could go for some of that myself.” There was pounding on the floor above them. He swallowed as there were sounds of Nathanial coming back downstairs. Jenna’s eyes were wide, “He never comes back this early.” She whispered, scurrying away to another corner now Nathanial wouldn’t think they were plotting something. The door banged open and Nathanial snarled at Dirk. “Someone is sneaking around my house.” He snarled at him, “Someone is on my property that looks like your friends!” He came toward him, brandishing a hammer from his belt. “Did you call for them?! I told you no guests!” Nathanial roared and Dirk stood slowly, back to the wall. Nathanial shook the hammer at him, “I took care of you and gave you time with your friend! Jenna! How dare you want to call more! There is just no room!” Dirk held up one hand, “Nathan- please, I didn’t call-“ He didn’t have time to brace himself before the hammer went across his face, knocking him into the wall. Dirk was dazed and it hurt nearly more than the break in his arm had. _He’s going to beat me to death with a hammer…_ He felt the next hit connect with the shoulder connecting to his broken arm, that time it knocked him down. “I take care of you! You’re safe here! Why do you want to leave!?” He screamed at Dirk, who was on the floor now. Nathanial kicked him in the back, thankfully missing the sowing job for his missing kidney. Nathanial tossed away the hammer and rolled him over, straddling him with his hands wrapped around his throat. Dirk seemed to get some of his facilities back and tried to pry the hands from his neck as they squeezed. He choked, feeling his air supply cut off.

                For a moment he saw Roxy, Jane and Jake at a grave. He saw his brother on a swingset watching the other three Beta Kids play with their guardians while he sat alone. His eyes were wide, staring up at Nathanial while his nails went into his large hands. _I’m going to die here._ He couldn’t breathe and started to see his vision tunnel- his body was still fighting but Nathanial was just too heavy. He could hear someone yelling- Nathanial? Jenna? He couldn’t tell. Nathan let go of him though and his eyes started to clear to see Jenna kissing Nathanial. “There there, it’s alright- he didn’t mean it.” She whispered to Nathan, who had his jaw set staring at her. “It’s alright…” Jenna brushed Nathanial’s hair out of his face. She looked scared out of her mind, but focused on saving his life. Nathanial looked down at Dirk, who couldn’t hide behind glasses anymore. “Promise me those aren’t your friends?” He whispered and Dirk croaked, “I promise…” Nathanial nodded, getting up and away from them, picking up the hammer as he left. “I’ll hold you to that, Dirk. You’re mine.” He growled and Jenna spat soon as he left. She was shaking as she looked over Dirk. “Any permanent damage?” He shook his head, coughing. Jenna swallowed, “He tastes like blood.” She whispered to no one, sitting back and hearing pounding upstairs.


	6. Sinnerman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about any errors. I'm posting this between finals so it's a little rough. I'll edit it later on tonight if I have time between work and last minute papers. Thanks so much for the reviews, they really do influence me to write more and more. There is warnings in this chapter for rape, swearing, abuse and neglect. (Mostly the rape warning.) 
> 
> Anyways, I'm in the process of typing out the next chapter. Keep in mind I am doing this own a 2 inch keyboard with a mild form of dyslexia and I lost my beta. *sighs* So editing is a little shitty at the moment. Much love, dears. Happy reading!

                It had been hell to find a car rental that was willing to work with three kids that had absolutely no credit  and had driver’s licenses that looked brand new they were never used. Jake’s eyes were tracing the tree line as Jane sat between them, the GPS in her hand. They had gotten a shitty pick-up truck, riding quickly through the dirt road toward who knew where. Roxy had sunglasses and a scarf wrapped around her head since the sun was so harsh today. None of them spoke as they followed the road that had told them they were going the right direction. There was one single power line that met a house, then another down another few miles, though the GPS kept peeping on- guiding them on. Jake was scared. He didn’t know what he was going to find when he got there and was sure as hell not prepared- not matter how much he said he was- for Dirk actually being fine and there with another person. This… Nathanial… he didn’t seem like a good person from the records. The newspaper articles were old and from what he read, the man was violent as they come. But then again, the news tended to blow things out of proportion more often than not.

                Perhaps he was innocent, and Dirk was simply… having coffee… for days without any contact with him. Which who would in the situation that Jake had put him in? Dirk was missing though, and until Jake knew he was safe he wouldn’t stop searching. Roxy said something and he turned his head from the window, dust clouds billowing up from behind their tires. “What?” She glanced at the GPS, “We’re here.” Jane nodded, swallowing herself looking at the large building. It looked like a home that had been connected to an office. An old sign on the front that had long stopped blinking with the word ‘open’ hung loosely to where it banged against the side of the building with each breeze. Jake had a feeling about this place, such an unsettling one that he nearly turned away from it. The ground felt squishy beneath his feet as he walked though he knew that they hadn’t had any rain for some time. He looked down and saw it newly mulched. He frowned, looking at the girls who were sharing his look of unease. After a moment to collect him he gestured to the girls to follow him. The place looked like it hadn’t been lived in for some time though had a white van in the makeshift dirt driveway.

                Jake glanced at the windows before peeking around the side of the house, and then the side of the building attached to it. There was an exit sign on the back that was boarded up completely. The sign read that it was once a lumber mill, which made sense for it to be so far out of the way of the city and into the dry countryside. He went back to the girls who were waiting, Roxy examining the ground and Jane looking skyward with narrowed eyes. There was no birds, no sound of the wilderness that usually came with the forests around them. Jake breathed out before walking towards the front door, hearing a shotgun cock. “You have twelve seconds to tell me what you’re here for.” A voice asked from the window beside the front door that had been closed not moments ago and covered by a white curtain. Jake held up his hands, itching to grab the gun from inside his jacket. The girls hadn’t known he had brought his shoulder holster, just in case they ran into trouble. But instead he played it in the safe route, “I’m looking for someone. His name is Dirk Strider.” The gun stayed where it was before retracting and he put his hands down slowly. Roxy murmured that she had a bad feeling about going inside when the door opened to reveal a tall man. He was fairly handsome in a rugged sense, something that the picture hadn’t portrayed. Blue eyes met Jake’s green, they were about the same size, his black hair clashing with Nathanial’s brown, their posture fairly similar, and Nathanial’s lightly tanned skin almost an even starker contrast than anything else to Jake’s deep golden brown tan.

                These things didn’t go unnoticed by Jake, who narrowed his eyes at the other. “Nathanial Morris?” He offered a hand to him, “I’m Jake English. These are my friends, Jane Crocker and Roxy Lalonde.” Nathanial glanced at the hand but didn’t take it and Jake dropped it immediately, not particularly wanting to shake the man of Dirk’s possible killer anyway. Pleasantries were sometimes more difficult to keep up than punching someone in the face and demanding them to tell you what they did with your boyfriend. Nathan nodded, “Pleasure. Come in, please.” He glanced behind them, like he was checking for someone else and stepped out of their way. Jane physically shivered walking past Nathanial’s, feeling cold breath on her neck briefly. It felt as if she had walked past death and it immediately made her shrink closer to the other’s. They sat on a couch that was in front of a high backed chair. “Tea?” Nathanial offered calmly and Jake at first started to say that would be fine before nails of Jane’s fingers went into his forearm. He refused afterward, taking the hint that they didn’t need a chance for Nathanial to do anything since his favorite pass time seemed to be drugging people.

                “We’re fine, thank you.” Jake sat down when their temporary host did. He held his gaze, feeling like he was staring down an animal. “Sorry about the shotgun. A lot of people get the wrong idea from reading the news and come here to start trouble.” It was a perfectly understandable reason and thus Jake nodded, “It’s fine. I’m a gun man myself.” He let that hang there in the still eerily quiet house. “Down to business then?” Nathanial asked curiously, cocking his head to the side that seemed almost menacing. Jake nodded, being the spoke’s person for the group apparently. “I’m looking for my boyfriend. He sent me a picture of you both together the other night and I haven’t heard from him. I’m starting to worry.” There was a demeanor change immediately after he said the relation and Nathan smiled, though it wasn’t real. “Is that all? Dirk and I had a great night, partied, went to a hotel off of 4th near the club and he went on his own way. Stumbled around a lot like he had too much to drink- might want to check the jail, he was probably just sleeping off the stupor.” Roxy shifted next to them, knowing just like the other two that Dirk always cut himself off before he got that drunk.

                “Hotel on 4th?” He asked, raising his eyebrow. That was close enough walk from their apartment that Dirk could have made it home, even seriously drunk. “We’ll check the cameras on the street corners.” Jake commented offhandedly and Nathan narrowed his eyes, “Do that. Might give you a direction of which way he might have gone. “Jake took in a deep breath, brows furrowing now, “True…” The man stippled his fingertips, leaning forward to say more softly, “Tell me, how did you get my address?” Jake paused and Jane interjected, “The police have you registered as a sex offender, your records are public knowledge. All we needed was your name which the bar tender happily provided.” That was likely, and a lot more legal than what Roxy had done. Jake nodded and opened his mouth before Roxy jumped in as well, “Do you have a bathroom I can use?”

                Nathanial nearly said no before Roxy took off her sunglasses and he spotted her near bright pink eyes, attracting his attention spectacularly, “Please?” She batted her eyelashes and he slowly nodded, “Down the hall on the left.” He answered softly and the woman thanked him, getting up and walking down the hall, the door shutting with a click. Jake stared Nathan down when Jane asked softly, “This is a really nice property.” Nathan didn’t look at her, just kept staring at Jake. “It was my father’s. He recently passed and I inherited it.” Automatically Jake responded, “I’m sorry for your loss.” Nathan simply shrugged, “He wasn’t a very nice man. Though he did install in me the importance of having a strong family and hard values.” Jake felt like there was meaning in that, but didn’t know what really was. Nathanial went to get up when Roxy came back in, if possible more pale than when she left. “I think we’ve overstayed our welcome. Thank you, Mr. Morris, for having us in. We’ll check on the hotel to find my brother.” Nathanial offered his hand to her and Roxy took it, grip firm and lips a thin line. “He’s your brother?” Roxy nodded, “Twice removed, but yes.” Nathanial smiled gently, “I can see how you are both very similar. Jane and Jake stood slowly, watching the two of them worriedly. Roxy didn’t back down from the shake, nor the hand holding afterward. Her pink eyes were like Dirk’s, defying and intelligent, but also more expressive. Nathanial let her go finally; as she turned he licked his lips. They headed toward the door, not saying a word as the man shut and locked the door behind them.

                “Get back to the car. Drive.” Roxy whispered to Jake who had the keys in his hand from earlier. They piled in and Jake pulled out of the parking-lot and started back. “What happened?” He asked her and she was shaking her head, “We need to get the police! Anyone- I didn’t really go to the bathroom. You know how we got traits from the game and all that? I can pick any lock being a thief and I found a safe and I just- impulsively-!” Her voice was cracking with mild panic as she searched inside her jacket pocket before pulling out a pair of sunglasses. Jake stomped the breaks looking at them, he picked them up with gentle fingers. They were cracked in several places and he looked back at the house. It took Jane and Roxy almost eleven minutes to keep him from turning the truck around. “He’s still in there dammit! Let me bloody go!” He was screaming, and Roxy tried to be the voice of reason, “He may have him somewhere else! We need the police! If we go barging in and Dirk isn’t there then he can get us arrested and then there will be no one to find Dirk!” Jake stared at the house, tears coming down his face. He punched the car into motion again, driving recklessly back toward the city. _“I’ll kill him if he puts a hair out of place on Dirk’s head. I’ll kill that bastard- I’ll- I’ll-“_

xXx

                Dirk was lying on the floor, eyes lowered against the beam. Jenna was asleep not too far away. There had been silence above them for a while and he wondered if Nathanial had left. There was a sound of a door and his question was immediately proved wrong. He swallowed, feeling thirsty again- the feeling never completely went away he started to notice. Dirk ignored the hunger in his gut, having giving his meal to Jenna who was eating more for two than he was. He knew that she was at the point that if the child didn’t survive, then she might not either. In some sort of sense, he felt responsible for her now. He was reminded of Jane so much it hurt at times. The banging continued with slow purposeful steps. The blond swallowed, too weak to move at the moment. He was tired, injured and had very little will left to keep going. Nathanial had said someone was sneaking around the property- and if he knew Nathanial, they were already dead. His eyes shut, praying to any god that really did exist that it hadn’t been Jake, Roxy or Jane.

                The door opened and his eye looked up at Nathanial. His face was swollen from where he’d hit him with the hammer a few hours ago. Nathanial came in so quietly it was a thousand times more frightening than anything else he had done. The larger man clamped a hand over his mouth, “Shhh…. you tried to hide that beautiful sister of yours from me…” He squeezed until Dirk was bleeding from the cut on his cheek.  Dirk tried to struggle but he couldn’t as Nathanial started to strip him. “I met that boyfriend of yours…. You tried to hide him from me. You said they were just friends. And you know what I told you about keeping secrets from me… You’re mine, Dirk. Only mine. And it’s time I showed you that.” Dirk’s head connected with the concrete flooring and his eyes widened. _“What is he-?”_ Dirk started to struggle more, putting panic effort behind it before Nathanial hit him in the back of the head. He felt himself stripped and held down. “Get off of me!” He yelled into the hand around his mouth and his head was pounded into the concrete again. “Shhh… Don’t wanna wake the baby.” He whispered into his ear and Dirk’s eyes widened, “Fuck you-!” The next punch nearly knocked him out. Nathanial squeezed around the back of his neck, “Remember Dirk… you brought this on yourself.”

_You brought this on yourself._


	7. Devil's Tattoo

Jake had the officer gripped around the shirt front. Teeth on edge and near snarl on his features, he hissed out his words, the girls telling him to stop. “I’ve given you the information. I don’t give a shit whether your captain doesn’t want to go look since he hasn’t left his residence. I have proof he’s been at a club where he kidnapped my friend!” The officer had his hand on Jake’s, “And if you don’t let go of me, sir, you’re not going to walk out of this department in anything but cuffs! You’re mistaken; Nathanial Morris hasn’t left his residence.” Jake shook his head, letting go to brandish the phone with a picture on it. “And how do I know that you haven’t altered the photo. I’ve got sixteen reports of Morris kidnapping kids all over the city and half of them have just been runaways! Now if you’ll excuse me I have to talk to actual criminals who have actually committed a crime!”

                Jake nearly went to hit him but Jane wrapped her arm around him, pulling him away. “Enough! We’re not getting through to him!” She dragged him out of the lobby where he was nearly falling into despair again. “Every moment we waste- Dirk is with that- that monster! You’ve seen what he went to trial for- Dirk is- alone without his medication and- and-!” He wasn’t realizing that he was hyperventilating until now and Roxy caught him before he completely fell down. “Slow down. We’re not done yet.” Jane whispered, rubbing his back gently, trying to offer a bit of comfort. “We can go to the FBI and explain what’s going on… they can force the police into action.” Jake swallowed, head in his hands, “If that doesn’t work I’m going in myself- damn the consequences, Jane! Dirk is there because of _me!_ ” Roxy shook her head, “No he’s not.” She whispered, “We all had something to do with it. I had the idea, you made him walk away, and Jane had him agree with me… he walked away. We’re all at fault. And it’s going to take all of us to stir up enough trouble that the FBI and the police can’t ignore us. We can’t go in there swinging.” She sat beside Jake in the lobby, frowning at her purple nails. “This isn’t the game anymore… but it’s a game to that bastard. The way he looked at me like I was a piece of meat…” She shook her head, “It’s not the game but in his mind it is. It’s a chess game and we’re going to lose Dirk if we don’t do something soon.”  
  
                Jane frowned before looking up at the two of them, “I think I have an idea.” She whispered, “I don’t like it… but… it’s a possible way to get Dirk back.” Jake immediately looked up, “What is it?” The woman bit her lip before looking at Roxy. “We’re going to have to bait the shark.”

xXx

                He had been crying for hours, Jenna holding him to her chest. Dirk didn’t mean to- he tried to stop but the tears just kept coming. She had found a blanket that he could wrap himself in, the blood on the floor from the… he couldn’t even think of the word. It made it too real. He was bloody and beaten. Nathanial had pulled all the stops, even taking his belt to him until his skin was bloody and raw. Dirk was in so much pain that he needed a release- anything.  Anything to stop the pain in his chest- whether it be tears or soft moans of pain. He felt broken, used and thrown away. Dirk had only been with Jake before and that had never ever been like _that_. His entire- especially his genitals and arse- body burnt painfully. He hiccupped as Jenna brushed his blond hair back; pieces were missing because of how hard Nathanial had pulled on it. She rocked him back and forth gently, not saying it was going to be alright because she already knew what he was feeling- and that it was certainly never going to be alright… She was doing what Bobby had done for her. It was a horrible cycle, but at least he could have a moment to himself. Jenna knew that no one would give that to him here… and if she could give him a few moments to grieve for himself then she would do it time and time again. Her mother had once told her that she was far too giving, and she had answered that without someone giving, no one would ever get anywhere.

                She found herself crying too, helping him expel the tears from his system as much as hers. Jenna brought her hand over his eyes now they would be shielded from the light above them. He sobbed openly, shaking from head to toe knowing he would regret this show of emotion later- for finally breaking down after beating after beating. Jenna would just gently whisper to stay with her, like his own mental standing was slipping away- which it very well could. In the room where there was only the smell of death, blood and despair that a hundred people before them had let lose- there was very little hope to have. He eventually, hours later, dissolved into shutters and gasps. Reaching blindly for his clothing that Jenna picked up and scooted toward his hand now he could grab it himself. He pulled on the shirt and the pants that were now both edged with blood from the tiny pool of it. Jenna rubbed the space on his back that wasn’t too wounded. Jenna offered small comforts that kept Dirk sane. “It’s good to get it out of your system.” She whispered, “It hurts too much to keep it pent up inside like that.” Dirk swallowed shaking his head, “I… I don’t want to talk about it.” Jenna nodded, “Okay…” She whispered taking his hand in hers. “I want to show you something. It’s important, I promise.” Dirk looked at her, red rimmed eyes blurring his vision more than it already was. He followed her, wincing with every step with a significant limp in his step as she took him across the room. Jenna pushed aside the wool blanketing they never used. There were scratch marks in the wall and Dirk swallowed, soon realizing they were names.

                She took out a shard of glass from her shirt and pointed at the bottom. There were a good hundred on the wall. All different writings, all different names. Just names. He could see Bobby’s at the bottom… right above Jenna’s. “It’s a record.” She whispered, “Everyone he has ever kept here.” Jenna bit her lip, “I know this is probably the last thing you want to see… but... it's proof. They’ll have a record of everyone who survived here.” Dirk saw those at the beginning just had their own nails to carve their name into the wall. His hand went over a few of them, feeling the ridged marks underneath his sensitive fingertips. Jenna held up the glass shard to him, “It’s not some sort of rite of passage… it’s just a record.” She whispered to him, “Just in case someone makes it… they get to take all of our names with them. It won't be just them escaping.” Dirk looked at the shard in her hand before taking it. Seeing that there were layers of dried blood on the piece before he knelled almost to the very bottom. He hissed at the movement, settling down on his knees. He carved his own name into the wall without a word. It cut him, like every person before him, to carve his name to the floor. It shouldn’t have, but it meant more than him just being here. It meant that he had been alive at one point to carve his name. It… in some weird way brought him back from his breaking point again. “And the world ends with a glass shard and a prayer.” He murmured and Jenna nodded, “Someone once told me that god worked in mysterious ways…” She smiled a little, “I told them that I guessed we took after him then.” Dirk looked up at her from where he was on the floor, “You know what’s going to happen to us, right?” Jenna paused before nodding, “I know.” The blond didn’t leave her gaze, “Are you scared?” She settled down beside him, “Not as much as I was before… I haven’t accepted it… but at the same time… I know it’s unavoidable. I just hope that one day there is someone that will break out of here. And show that bastard that it just takes one of us to break down his castle.”


	8. Powerless

It had been almost been an entire month according to Jenna, who had managed to keep some sort calendar in her mind. Dirk had given up on trying to keep track entirely. The days were long and the nights were harsh. Nathanial kept up his assault on them daily, getting more violent and then gentle on some days… though absolutely never gentle in the activities that Dirk had just termed ‘rough’ since even after three weeks after the incident he couldn’t speak about what happened. They kept themselves busy, discussing and talking through the pain they felt. Nathanial eventually started new torture sessions- drowning. He’d drag Dirk or Jenna out of the room, shove them in a vat of what they could only pray was water and continue until they stopped moving. They had learned to fake, but often only got worse beatings for it. They’d taken to sleeping close to each other now. Their only solace was that they were in the same situation. Dirk had severe withdrawals from the lack of medication- twitching and sometimes he would see shadows on the walls that made him think there were three people in the room instead of just two. He could hold himself together though- he needed to have a clear head most days. Nathanial seemed to be getting more and more impatient with Jenna as days grew closer to her eight month mark. And when Jenna became ill, things started to take a turn for the worse. She was coughing, pale and sweating- the only thing Dirk could do was wipe the sweat from her brow with dirty rags and give her his share of the food. It seemed like things were at least looking brighter than they were… until Nathanial grew tired of waiting.

                “Easy now.” Dirk whispered as Jenna got back on her feet, quite large. They had put together enough of the crappy sheets and towels to make what resembled a bed. She walked with him, dragging a bit with weakness. “You know just yesterday I was doing push-ups.” Jenna laughed but then swallowed thickly, the pain rising in her chest. “You’ll be back to do them soon enough.” Dirk was getting seriously thin now, a month of the absolute bare minimum of food- and sometimes less if Jenna was having a rough time. He walked her over to the bed, nearly collapsing himself as they got there. “Dirk-…” The door banged open and they both jumped, not hearing him come down the stairs. Nathanial was angry, gun in his hand. This wasn’t the first time he had brought a gun. Dirk automatically stood up, between him and Jenna. The more recent abuse had him just simply appeasing Nathanial. “You know what I fucking heard today on the news?” Dirk swallowed, “World’s ending?” Sure, he didn’t have as much snark as he did on the first day- but he still had some left in him. Nathanial walked into the room, shutting the door behind him. “I heard that babies only need seven months. Why are you keeping him from me, Jenna? Why are you keeping me from my family?” Dirk frowned, “Nathan, that’s wrong-!” The gun went across his face, pushing him down to the floor. He struggled up, “SHUT UP!” Nathanial screamed at him and Dirk cowered for a moment, reaching up to start to put himself between him and Jenna. He felt responsible for her now- and he couldn’t let him hurt her… he just couldn’t. Jenna gripped Dirk’s arm tightly, looking up at Nathan with fear. “I’m not- I swear- Soon as the baby is born-“ Dirk swallowed, rising still, nails still biting into him to stay down. Nathanial snarled and snatched her up out of bed.

                Dirk tackled him, Jenna falling to the floor and trying to crawl away as she groaned, holding her stomach. Nathan pistol whipped him across the face and Dirk rolled away, getting to his feet as Nathanial did the same. “You won’t keep me from my family, Dirk!” He snarled, hitting him in the arm that caused Dirk to recoil with a cry of pain. He aimed the gun at Dirk’s forehead and his eyes widened, “You won’t keep me from what I want!” He roared and Jenna kicked Nathanial’s hand. Dirk shielded himself as the sounds of ricocheting bullets bounced around the room. There was a cry of pain, though he wasn’t sure of who it was. The gun went off again, hitting the pipe above them. Nathanial shot another bullet that hit the door that caused it to open enough for the light to come in from the hallway, and one last bullet to hit the single light bulb above them. The room was flooded with partial darkness, the only light source being outside the steel door. Dirk blinked, lowering his hands slowly, eyes still dilated. It wasn’t like he had feared guns, Jake had too many of them lying around that-

                His train of thought stopped. He saw blood and heard gasping. “Jenna?!” He felt himself in slow motion, sliding over to her. Nathanial was still, eyes wide staring at Jenna who was bleeding out on the floor. He said nothing as Dirk panicked, “Oh my god- Oh god-.” Dirk swallowed, searching for a rag with numb fingers to press into the red blooming on her stomach. Jenna blinked rapidly, looking down at herself. “The baby- The-“ She had red running down the side of her mouth and down her leg. Dirk didn’t know what to do- he had never dealt with this before. She’d been shot in the stomach. The baby was dead- could he save her? “Dirk- I’m-“ She gasped, crying out. _“No no no, don’t have your baby- it’s dead- oh fuck-“_ She was begging for him to help and thus he jerked into motion, trying to do what he could while she bled out from the bullet wound. It didn’t take long- she must have already been having contractions just had not known it was that far before Nathanial had come in. It wasn’t anything like the movies suggested with hot water and towels. All you really had to do was play catch…

 Jenna gave birth to a boy... Dirk held the baby as his mother’s breathing was shallow. His eyes were wide, covered in blood by this point. The baby was alive. It was breathing. Premature and deformed- but it was alive for now. Nathanial still sat in the corner, watching with dark, horrible fascination with what was happening. The blond tried to hold down the pressure of the wound with one hand, baby in another. “Dirk…” Jenna asked, “What does he look like-?” She gasped, holding on to each breath and blinking rapidly up at the ceiling. Dirk worked his mouth before swallowing, “He-e’s beautiful, Jen… he’s… he’s beautiful.” He lied, staring at the woman he had grown so close to. It was like watching his best friend die- his sister die. Jenna smiled, laughing softly with her final breaths, “Dirk- Thank…” She gasped, breath leaving her body. Dirk stared at her, just stared, the baby kicking the air in his arms. He swallowed, unable to look away from her. There was so much blood, her eyes still staring up at the ceiling blankly. “Jen-?” He asked, lump thick in his throat. “Jenna?” He asked again, already knowing she was dead.

                He held the baby as it slowly started to stop kicking. It wasn’t formed enough to last. It was too badly handicapped. Dirk was crying, shaking and utterly in pieces as he rocked the baby to sleep… the longest sleep anyone would ever have. “Shh… It’s alright… You’re gonna see momma soon.” He whispered to it as it slowly stopped struggling. He had no way to save it or god; he would have run twenty miles to a hospital in minutes now it could live. It couldn’t even cry yet.... Just like it’s mother had, the baby died in his arms. Nathanial was smiling in the corner, slowly standing as Dirk continued to rock the child. Things had gone so horribly wrong… _so wrong…_ Dirk let out a soft sound that was a cross between howl of grief and cry of anger. Nathanial stood and walked toward the door. “Look what you did, Dirk…” He took the dead baby out of his hands, Dirk stared at Nathanial leaving. “Look at what you did…” He shook his head, “I’ll just have to find someone else to have my family with.” He tsked under his voice and shut the door on Dirk, putting him in absolute darkness with the corpse of Jenna. Dirk let out a breath that was so jittered it made a sound with it. There was a crunch of someone stomping something outside- something with bones. Dirk curled in on himself, his eyes wide in the darkness. There was no light in the room. Just the creaking of the floor above, the sound of a fly buzzing, and the stillness around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that Dirk is officially fucked up... chapter 9 should be out very shortly.


	9. Disturbia

                Dirk had no idea how long he sat in the darkness by himself. He had no idea what day it was. He had no idea the time, how long since he had drank or eaten anything, or how long since he had slept. The blond just felt… hollow. He stared into the darkness, unable to see anything. It was a strange thing that his mind came up with, that he had traded darkness for the light and his only friend. His eyes didn’t hurt any more… but every inch of him otherwise still ached. The wound on his back still burned and throbbed, more than likely infected by this point. Dirk was almost certain he was going to die now. Alone. In the Dark. Friendless. Without a soul to even know he existed. His mind had been wondering. The lack of medication, combined with fear, pain and isolation did a number on one’s sanity. Dirk came up with the idea that he was making movies in his head to keep himself sane. He pictured Jake’s wedding, more than likely with Jane. There wasn’t a better couple, honestly. Dirk should have realized that a long time ago, he knew that now. They would raise John and Jade- Roxy, hopefully keeping sober, taking care of Dave and Rose. Hopefully they would forget about his entirety of foul up’s and tell Dave at least a few good things about his older brotherly figure.

                Would he hate him like he had grown up thinking about his brother? Would he be disappointed in knowing that he had died such a way? Unheroic- forgotten… His brother had gone out in such a bang that the entire kingdom of the Condesce was roaring with triumph. Dave would grow up to be great and… that broke his heart in a sense. The pre-scratch version of himself had managed to raise such a person and now he was here. Dave would, of course, be magnificent regardless of Dirk’s involvement but it still bothered him that he wouldn’t be there for the school functions, the shit science projects, the dates and the stupid amount of homework that kids got. He wanted to be there for him. A stray thought came across that he should have just died in the game if he was going to die like this… then it might have been worth something. What an ending to his story…

                Dirk had gotten used to the smell the corpse was giving off. If someone had told him- even in the game- that he would be spending almost two months in a cell with a corpse and a psychopath keeping him prisoner… he would have never believed them. But it was too late for that. And regrets. He had too many of those to even count. He should have met more people, built more robots, tinkered with more, finished My Little Pony, raised Dave, and had a neon orange birthday cake. Yet another odd thing that crossed his mind during all of this he had been involved with… he wouldn’t have another birthday. The whole tradition was weird in the first place if anyone were to ask him, but Jake usually bounced his way over, laying him with a passionate kiss… Dirk swallowed thinking about Jake. His biggest regret and achievement in life- to have someone, even briefly, like Jake English. Damn had he been in love, here he was again without anything to show for it. He just continued to stare, even if his eyes didn’t see anything.

                **“You have long monologues inside your head.”** A voice said to him and his eyes snapped open. Nothing in the darkness. No sound. No movement. His back was against the wall as he slowly slid up to stand, **“You would think you would be a lot better at public speaking. Almost 37% better.”** His eyes widened, still not seeing anything in the darkness. “Whose there?” His voice cracked and a red flickered on in a chest plate in front of him. Showing a black suit, red lines like circuits in the person’s body, pale skin and white hair, sunglasses and burning red eyes. A smirk on the person’s lips as he looked at him, standing on the other side of the room. The red light should have been bright enough to light the room, but it stayed dull, like even it couldn’t penetrate the darkness. Dirk’s mouth had fallen open, “AR?” He whispered and the being cocked it’s head to the side. **“I still prefer Lil Hal- or just Hal now.”**

                “No- no- I left you in the game. I made you into a sprite!” Dirk whispered touching his face for the glasses to find them still missing, “You were destroyed with that session!” Hal chuckled, walking toward him, eyes piercing him. He was close now to where Dirk was pressed against the wall. Hal flickered for a moment and Dirk swallowed, **“Yeah… you left a lot of loose ends in the session. You just thought you could leave all your problems behind.”** He whispered a hiss underneath it that sounded like Jake’s tea kettle. Hal’s hands were on his neck and Dirk stared at him, **“Tell me Dirk… I’m no longer scared about not existing… how about you?”** Hal disappeared, and Dirk had his own hands around his throat. He took his hands away, breathing heavily. The darkness was surrounding him again. He shook his head, “You’re just a hallucination brought on by me not taking my medication. You’re not real.” In a moment Hal was dancing around the room with Jenna’s corpse before letting it drop, **“Am I Dirk? Am I just one of your hallucinations? How long are you going to keep ignoring that you were crazy all along? You said it yourself- your insanity made Jake leave you the first time. How long are you going to be trapped here?”** Dirk shook his head, eyes going wide again, “What the fuck-“ His hands went to the side of his face and he crouched down, shaking his head. “Stop- stop-“ He opened his eyes again to find Hal staring at him. **“Sometimes you can’t escape, Dirk.”** Hal stepped back as the door opened again and Nathanial let the light flood in. “Hello Dirk. My brother, Danny, sent me a new a toy to play with.” He snapped it out. A military grade knight stick with electrical capabilities- proving so when Nathanial hit the button on the bottom, sending a sound of a crackle into the air.

                Hal stood in the background, unseen by Nathanial as the session commenced. There was such a judgmental look in his face as Dirk stared at him as he was electrocuted- being held down on the bed and bludgeoned with the nightstick around the stomach. Hal walked over to him, Nathanial’s hand clamped tight around Dirk’s mouth as tears came down and Hal leaned down to him. **“Fight him. Fight back, Dirk.”** Hal stared at him, eyes still burning into him. Dirk let out a scream behind the hand as the electricity burnt across his stomach. It lasted only for twenty minutes- one of the shorter sessions. Hal stayed beside him, **“You should have fought him.”** Dirk shivered on the bed, nerves frazzled from the shocks. “Why didn’t you if you’re not a hallucination.” His lips quivered as he spoke and Hal turned his head to him. **“This isn't about me. You need to fight. You need to. Or there will be a hundred more just like you.”** Dirk swallowed, “What do you mean?” Hal snorted, **“Don’t be stupid. You know what I mean. If you die here, then there is going to be a hundred more he takes. No one will stop him.”** Dirk shook his head, curling on himself, “That isn’t my problem.” He whispered, clutching the sheets to ignore the pain but it was too much to simply wish away this time. **“Oh so you like watching kids like Jenna get that treatment.”** Dirk’s eyes opened again, turning around to see Hal gone. “Of course not!” He yelled back, eyes wild. “Jenna- Jenna didn’t deserve that.” There came a smack and Hal was on top of him then. **“Not your problem?! He’ll be after Roxy next, or Jane! Not your problem?! Who the fuck do you think it is then?! Wake up the fuck up, Prince! You are the last thing standing between him and everyone one else in the world. All the Jenna’s who had families waiting for them- all the Dave’s that never get to see their brother again because you were too scared. FIGHT!”** He shook him and Dirk stared up, “I’m not… strong enough.”

                **“Then become strong enough.”** Hal growled and stepped away from him. **“Because if you don’t… everyone you care about is going to die with you."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please remember I'm taking a pole at the possible endings to this serious at http://goo.gl/J7uNrf !


	10. Hang On

Dirk winced as he cut his hands on the glass again and again. Hal wasn’t too far away, watching him with his Cal like red eyes. He broke the glass shard that Jenna had given him into smaller pieces. If he was going to escape, he was going to need a weapon. He snapped the glass shard into tiny pieces with sharpened edges, scraping them on the floor until they were pointed enough to cut his own flesh. He tested each and every one of them on his forearm, making sure it drew blood. Not out of self-harm, but for the certainty that it would break through the skin of who he was attacking. Hal offered no aid besides to stare blankly into the open space of the room. Dirk stood, wiping his hands on his grimy black pants- they had started out gray, or at least, he thought they had. The darkness surrounded him and was only lit by the glow of Hal’s red chest plate- that flickered in and out of existence like he had once done in the game. He limped to the small cache he had gotten of wooden and metal pools. Jenna and he had tried to clean their ‘living quarters’ at one point, but it hadn’t gotten much cleaner due the overall grim the place seemed to accumulate. Jenna had voiced that this room must have been some sort of storage for extra supplies since there were chemical stains that had been on the wall and a drain in the floor. Though neither of them knew exactly where they were, they could guess with all the make-shift torture devices that Nathanial kept around.

                He searched through the small stack, trying to find something strong enough to hit someone with and not break, but something lightweight enough that he could use without too much difficulty in his weakened state. It wasn’t like they hadn’t searched through this before to find a weapon, but they were too weak to fight and there hadn’t been anything at the time. Now he had nothing to lose and he had Hal bitching at him to fight Nathanial… which in some weird twisted sense, made _perfect sense_ to him that Hal had come to annoy him in his last few hours before he did something _really_ stupid. Dirk found two pieces that he could mend together… but the holding them together was going to be the hard part. He walked back to his horrifying glass art project on the floor and looked up at Hal. “Any bright ideas on what I can use to hold this all together?” His voice was still raspy; the lack of water was getting to him. Jenna and he would usually just fill whatever they had with water from a leaky pipe that ran along the ceiling… but since the shooting it had either been plugged with a bullet or it had bounced it back into place. He had impossible bad luck it seemed. More than likely because he was a breaking a piece of glass mirror.

                Hal blinked slowly at him, **“You’re not stupid, Dirk.”** His glitching hand was held up and pointed at Jenna’s corpse. Dirk frowned, and then looked back at him. “Absolutely not.” He growled, “I’m not defacing her any more than what he’s done to her.” Hal cocked his head to the side, **“How is surviving defacing someone? If she was still alive she would donate them to you- between telling you it was far too dangerous and you shouldn’t fight your rapist and possible murderer soon enough.”** Dirk snarled at him, “Shut your mouth. She deserves more respect than that.” Hal rose from his seat and walked over to him, picking up a shard of glass. **“Why? By all my calculations, she is one of 104 people that have been trapped here over a near 70 year period. By the percentage of how many actually remember her, there is 4% chance that she will have anyone left by the time you leave- if you do… which only has a 12% chance of success.”**

Dirk lost it, swinging the stick wildly until his inside burnt with pain. Trying to hit Hal but didn’t connect that he wasn’t hitting anything at all, just air while Hal teleported away from him each swing. “Fuck you! Fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU!” He yelled and Hal blinked at him from across the room, head cocked to the side, “You don’t even belong here! You didn’t know what a good person she was! She didn’t deserve to be down here- I do! You do! She was innocent! Do you fucking say a damn thing about Jenna! You and all your stupid calculations! Just leave me alone! I’m better alone! I’ve always been alone and if I was alone it would be me on that floor instead of her!” He was screaming until his voice was hoarse, palm of his hand going into his eyes where he felt liquid. Dirk immediately berated himself for wasting the moisture in his system. “Just… shut up, Hal…” He whispered into the darkness. Hal shut his mouth, eyes lowering to the floor. “But you’re right… She would give them to me.” Dirk whispered and rubbed his fist into his eye to rub away the shame he felt for crying- _._ Jenna was the one who deserved to cry. Her entire life was ripped from her. **“Use that anger… and sorrow… against him, Dirk. You have fought since you were an infant… don’t let that stop now.”** It was only Hal’s voice now, and Dirk leaned his head back, holding his side with one hand. “Turn the light back on… I need to see what I’m doing.” He whispered and Hal’s chest plate flickered back on, only now Dirk noticed that the light made the shape of the Prince of Heart symbol. He couldn’t help find that irony… to have a bad taste in his mouth.

                The blond, more brunette with the dirt in his hair, crawled to Jenna. He looked over her, speaking soft words of apologies and promises. His shaking fingers started to undo the dirty bandaging around her arms. The smell gagged him, but he knew he had to use the material to bind the sticks together and the glass to the weapon- it was all he had to use. Hal watched him; head cocked to the side like he was calculating something while Dirk undid what was done to her. He could see how much skin Nathanial peeled from her- to sell as she said- and he wished upon whatever god was listening that he would have the chance to give the monster the most painful death imaginable. The bandages wrapped slowly around the sticks to make a sturdy club, then the glass pushed through to make it sharp at the end, promising to rip skin and blind if aimed correctly. Dirk let out a long breath, resting his head back against the bed. He was starving… thirsty too. **“I still have that message… saved on my hard drive at the apartment in case you ever died.”** Hal’s voice seemed almost less demeaning as he spoke. **“The one explaining to Jake why you loved him. Why you had to die.”** Dirk sighed, “I realize what you’re talking about. I’m dying, not a moron.” He grunted and Hal chuckled, **“Perhaps a bit of both… Do you regret anything?”** There was a long pause in the silence. Dirk shut his eyes, “I regret not seeing Roxy be two years sober… I regret not tasting Jane’s new pumpkin spice cake… I regret not seeing my brother’s first steps, or hearing him call my name or taking him to school… I regret not seeing Jake grow old with me.” His breath was labored so he swallowed, “I regret a lot of things.” Another long paused before Hal whispered, **“I’m sorry you had to die this way, Dirk.”**

                There was dragging sound, and Dirk struggled to hide the weapon behind a pile of junk in the room. He managed before the door banged open for what seemed like the millionth time. Nathanial said familiar words to him. “I brought a friend for you.” He whispered to Dirk, “A friend we can play with and start our own little family…” He ripped the bag off the girls head and Dirk nearly shut his eyes again. She was younger than him, maybe seventeen at the oldest. Scared out of her mind with one of her nearly fully dilated violet eyes missing- much like he had done to Dirk, Nathanial dropped her on the cold stone floor. “Play time, kiddies.” He whispered, grabbing Jenna by her foot and dragging her out of the room all together. The door shut to darkness and the girl let out a shaking sob. Dirk swallowed, crawling his way over to her slowly, “Hey… hey…” He murmured and the girl’s breath caught, as if she hadn’t noticed him. His voice was gentle as he spoke to her, “My name is Dirk Strider… what’s yours?” She quivered a few inches away from him, “R-Rachel- Rachel Gates…” Dirk smiled in the darkness, let out a low breath, “Nice to meet you.” He swallowed, knowing he had to say something now. “Listen Rachel… I’m going to give you some advice that was given to me when I arrived here…” Dirk stared at where he heard her breathing and spoke the words he only now suddenly believed in. “Fight him. Fight that bastard whenever he comes in here. You’re going to get out of here.” He only did now… because he had something to fight for. He would not let Rachel become another Jenna. Nathanial would have to kill him before he would _ever_ make another Jenna.


	11. Seven Devils

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shortness of the last chapter. I had to find a place to break apart to help the flow of this one. I added a lot more in this one to make up for it. I will be adding a playlist to this series as well and it has been decided about the ending of the series. I may do other alternate endings as separate requests but I haven't decided yet. Anyway, we are building up to the grand ending of Spectrum.

 

                The first week had been so similar to Dirk’s that it was frightening. He explained the wall of names to her, like Jenna had to him. Had talked about Nathanial and what happens to the others. He didn’t spare her details… it would only hurt her later if he didn’t succeed with his plans. She took it surprisingly well, only tearing now and then. Rachel was a sweet girl too… one that shouldn’t have been there with him trapped in what seemed like either Hell’s lobby or it’s break room in Dirk’s opinion. Dirk had gotten weaker if that were possible, only adrenaline and fear keeping his limbs moving. He could feel things starting to come to an end around him. It wasn’t that he was ready to die, but more… accepting of it than he had been before. He only had a set number of months to start with- that he knew…  but now he could physically feel his body start to slowly shut down at times before he would claw his way back- clinging onto his breath. Dirk knew he was dying- from the kidney failure of only having one, the lack of rest, dehydration, starvation and torture- hell, he the withdrawals from his medication should hurt but didn’t because of the nerve damaged he had suffered. Was it really his fault that he had hoped of escape when he had? Not really… With the appearance of Rachel, Hal had backed off considerably, but his will had returned to have her escape this place. Dirk didn’t mind that Hal had disappeared, he was too busy memorizing patterns of Nathanial and listened to everything he said, calculating the situation like Hal did- or how he would have if Dirk wasn’t already doing it. Somehow Dirk knew he had fragmented himself to see and not see Hal. Dirk knew what to do without him though, how to work things to the way he needed them to come together- He knew how to manipulate and make things work- he knew how to use Nathanial against himself. 

                He jerked awake early one morning- or what he assumed was morning, swallowing the bitter hydration in his mouth. Like every other time he had woken, the man would stare up at the nothingness in the room. Dirk swallowed, brushing a pale hand through his hair. How long had it been now? What had happened outside? Had he been forgotten? Dirk’s ears pricked hearing Nathanial upstairs, ranting to himself for the hundredth time. Rachel was asleep on the bed and Dirk rose from the floor slowly. Hand following the dark wall and taking a deep breath. Today. He was going to end this today. His fingertips slid over the door and he let out a low breath. There was a soft hiccup and Dirk frowned, turning his head to hear soft crying. “Bad dream?” He asked softly and Rachel made a soft sound of acknowledgement that that was what it had been. “Come here.” Dirk settled down slowly beside her and he felt her crawl towards him and into his embrace. Rachel sniffed, swallowing hard. “You’re being so brave.” He told her softly and she wiped her eyes with the palm of her hand. “You act like my older brother.” She laughed underneath her breath, “When I had my braces taken off in seventh grade, he stayed by my side while I cried it hurt so bad- he told me I was brave then too.” Dirk chuckled, “Hell yeah you were brave. Getting your braces off is one hell of a scary experience. All the bands of metal around your teeth- you could pretend to be a metal shark but that’s beside the point.” Rachel smiled into his chest, laughing this time. “I wanna be a metal shark.” She whispered and Dirk nodded, “Where’s your brother now?” She shrugged, “College… probably with my parents wondering where I am…” Dirk sighed, “Yeah…” Rachel shifted her head to look up at where his head would be in the dark. “Do you have any siblings?” There was a pause, “I have a sister. I had an older brother once… but he passed… he raised me.” Rachel’s smile faded, “I’m sorry, Dirk… tell me about him?” Dirk settled back, leaning his head against the wall of names. “How about I tell you about him… and the greatest story ever told.” Rachel raised her eyebrows, “What’s it about?” Dirk smiled, “It’s about four kids who made the universe, with the help of trolls, sprites, robots and strange creatures along the way?” There was a pause before Rachel whispered that it sounded like one interesting story. There was a short laugh, before Dirk murmured, “It all started with a young man, standing in his bedroom on his birthday, the thirteenth of April…”

 xXx

                Roxy stood in the club, eyes alert. This was their final chance. The police had done nothing- no matter how much they pressured and if today had no avail, they were going to break down Nathanial’s door and find Dirk themselves. Jake was nearly tied up to keep from barging in- he had gone mad in the time that Dirk had been gone. He seemed darker- harsher- like Dirk was without Jake around. Perhaps that was the reason why they worked out so well, Roxy wondered, eyes flickering over each face in the club at least three times. Jake and Dirk brought out the humanity in each other and without the other half… Roxy drank back the glass not finding the ginger ale near as fitting as it should have been. But out of respect for her brother, she did not drink the vodka that seemed to be calling her name daily. Jane had tried to remain the voice of reason but even her arguments had stopped. They were waiting for Nathanial now. He would be on the hunt for a girl since Dirk had filled his male quota- or at least that was the pattern they had noticed in the kidnappings. Jane had come up with a plan to use Roxy as bait, set a trap and wait for it to be sprung… and the longer it took, the more time spent looking for someone who didn’t come… made everyone on edge.

                It worried her that they hadn’t seen Nathanial- hell that no one had seen him for so long. There was a camera that picked him up driving the other day by a high school but… no one was reported missing yet. Nor was that the right age bracket that he usually did. Roxy looked up again as a weight settled on the bar beside her. “I’m surprised to see you here.” There was a pause and Roxy turned, heart panicking, “Jesus Danny- you scared me.” She laughed breathlessly, brushing her pale hair back, “What are you doing here? I thought you didn’t like clubs.” The man shrugged, neon light reflecting off his dark blond hair. His eyes never left hers. “I go occasionally… I can’t say that our second date I was stood up by a more beautiful woman.” Roxy frowned, thinking for a moment before she put her head in her hand again. “Oh my god, I completely forgot- I’m so sorry. I’ve just been out of my mind… my brother is missing and the last few weeks have just…” She shook her head, looking at her drink, then back at him. “I really want to have another date with you, Danny. I’m just… distracted and worried.” Roxy offered a small smile, glancing around the room immediately afterward.

Danny’s eyes widened, “You’re serious? Your brother is missing? Tall guy with the scar on his neck? Have you gone to the police?” There was a pause. _How did he know Dirk has a scar on his neck?_ Roxy laughed it off, the sudden unease with being near him. Maybe the lights had highlighted the scar? Only those who got close to Dirk realized he had a scar around his neck from the game- and Danny had certainly never gotten that close to him. “Yeah, but they don’t seem to listen.” Danny frowned, “Hey, I’ve got a few connections down at the agency… I’m actually the guy who they take their weapons too and such to get cleaned. Book keeper and all that jazz.” He smiled, “I could walk you down there and see if we can find something out- do you have any idea what happened?” Roxy licked her black lips, looking up at Daniel, watching his reaction now, “The man’s name is Nathanial Morris. He took Dirk.” There was a flicker of a dead pan in his expression. Something she couldn’t read but knew deep down it meant something terrible. “Never heard of him. Let’s get you to the agency, we’ll figure out something there.” “ _The Nathanial Morris trial is all over the news… unless he’s deaf he damn well knows about Nathanial Morris- especially that he’s on house arrest. This isn’t right at all.”_ Roxy was about to turn-tail and run. That would have been the smart thing to do.  
  
                But she also saw this as a chance- a chance to get to Dirk. Either to find out where he was holding him or… or how to rescue him or if Danny was working for him or with him- or… If she didn’t go, she would lose a valuable chance that she needed to get to Dirk. “Alright.” She nodded, getting up and collecting her bag. Her eyes found Jane talking excitedly on the phone to someone. It was an excellent cover when it was no one on the other end and the ringer was turned off. Jane connected her gaze with hers for a split second, giving the slightest of acknowledgement that she saw her leaving. Jake was waiting in the rented car, probably peeling the leather from the seats in agitation. Roxy walked out, nearly being Daniel’s height in her black heels. She kept her head held high, eyes dilated as they went out the back and towards the silver four-door that she had ridden in before. Daniel wasn’t too far behind her and she looked back at him to see him smiling at her. “What is it?” He asked and Roxy shook her head, “Nothing, just… curious.” Daniel walked closer to her, cocking his head to her. Something that Roxy had once that was cute now seemed so menacing. “About?” Roxy offered a brilliant smile now, getting closer- her hand around a tazer that Dirk had made for her now so long ago inside her skirt pocket. “How did you know my brother had a scar around his neck?”

                She was slammed into the back seat of the car, struggling against Daniel’s weight. It had been so fast that she hadn’t had a chance to draw her weapon. There was a cloth forced toward her mouth and she held her breath, keeping it away from her mouth as he held her other hand back, nails biting into his skin. “Get the fuck off me!” She kicked him in the balls with her high heel, giving her a second to knee him in the gut immediately afterward and breaking free from the car. “Get back here!” He snarled, grabbing her around the waist to drag her back into the car. She kicked and screamed, punching and biting until Daniel bashed her head onto the top of the car. “Damn bitch- first you get involved too deep and now you act like I’m trying to rape you. Should have let Nathan have you for his little collection- Someone actually does have to continue the _actual_ family line.” Her eyes rolled a bit, fingers trying to find the button on her belt that would let Jake know things were going wrong. She hit it, falling back into the backseat as someone yelled from the club. “Hey- everything okay?” Her entire world was spinning and not in a fun way.

                Daniel sat up, “Yeah man, sorry. She had a bit too much. I’m taking her home now she doesn’t drive.” There was a yell of acknowledgement and the backdoor closed. He laughed as he started to climb into the front seat. “And people wonder why date rape is so common these days.” Daniel glanced back her on the seat, still recovering from the hit to her head. His fingers went over her chin gently, “I’ll give him props, Nathan can pick ‘em… You are certainly beautiful. But don’t worry. You won’t be slaughtered like your brother. You’ll just never be seen again. Even if you were- who would believe you when I’m the police department’s bookkeeper and you’re just some girl who likes to party entirely too much.” He smiled at her and her eyes widened a bit. He turned back around to see a very angry Jane pointing a gun at his head from in front of the car. Daniel snarled before turning the car on, more than planning to run her down when a hand reached in through the open window. If he had thought Jane looked angry, it was nothing compared to what Jake was. It ripped Daniel from the car, safety belt snapping back towards it’s origin. “Jane, get Roxy!” He snarled and Daniel went flying into a wall, breaking his nose.

                Jake brought him up again, holding him up by his shirt front. With each word, Jake smacked him against the brick wall of the building next to the bar. “Where. Is. Dirk. Strider.” Roxy struggled up from the car, holding the back of her head in her hand and steading herself with Jane’s hand. When Daniel just stared at him, Jake punched him across the jaw, ripping open the lip with the force he used. “I asked you a question!” He screamed at him, going to hit him again when Roxy stopped Jake, “Enough! We need him! If you beat the shit out of him like he deserves we’ll never find Dirk!” Daniel giggled and they turned back to him, “Like you could find him where he is now. So deep and cut apart. My brother is going to make it rain orange all night long.” He sneered and Jake growled, hitting him in the head to knock him out- so similar to the way Roxy had nearly been done.  Daniel crumbled to the ground and Jake breathed out. “Deep- Cut… He was in the sawmill all this time!” Jane whispered. “We’re going to go to Nathanial’s house. I’m done waiting.” Jake picked up Daniel and tossed him over his shoulder. “What are you going to do with him?” Roxy asked, while Jane’s eyes narrowed and the gun in her hand surprisingly not shaking. It was fairly shadowed in the alleyway, so she didn’t put her gun away. Just in case. Jake walked his way toward the entrance. “I’m going to take him with us.” He looked back, “Stay here or come on, either way Nathanial is about to get a rude awakening.”


	12. Raised In Rain

Dirk had planned the most he could. After he left this room, he would be winging it. The man swallowed hard in the darkness. Rachel was asleep on the bed- having tired herself out from the story and the tears- and Nathanial would be coming soon. Nathanial thankfully stuck to patterns, so he knew the exact timeframe that Nathanial would wait until raping Rachel. He wouldn’t get the chance of course, but it would be the perfect chance to play the monster against himself; Dirk knew he could do this- escape… he just needed a chance. His sensitive fingertips went over every inch of skin he could, remembering the bumps and scars in his flesh. The marks and bulges of badly mended bones and bruises- knots in muscles and branding marks in his skin from red hot pokers. If it was one thing Nathanial loved, it was torture. Dirk let out a breath into the room, listening to the footsteps above him. There was a moment that Dirk let himself go, picturing himself in his apartment sitting next to a sleeping Roxy, Jane, Jake, Frig, Bec, and Cal… It was the calm before the storm. **“Are you ready?”** The voice tore him from the memory and dream, his eyes opened to Hal having his arms crossed in front of him. “Long time, no see.” Dirk slowly stood up to face him and Hal stood still, watching him. They were the same height; only difference was Hal being made of something straight out of the Tron series with red lines instead of blue. The symbol on his chest was still his Prince of Heart symbol. He looked up at him, eyes searching the red ones that did the same back at him. “Yeah… I am.”

                **“You realize that your chances have dwindled to 9% and are dropping. You’re prone to kidney failure at any time… not to mention that the past tribute here named Bobby attempted escape… and received a pair of clippers through his chest.”** Dirk smiled, nodding slowly, “I know that, Hal.” Hal frowned back at him, before shifting slightly, **“Then why try to escape? I tell you to fight… but there is a difference between fighting for life and escaping. You have a chance to go out with dignity if you die fighting but… escaping?”** Dirk shook his head, “No… that’s not what I’m trying to do.” Hal looked back up at him, **“Then what?”** The blond let out a sigh, “I already know I’m not going to get out of this place. But she is… and it’s not me whose going to take the names out of here… it’s Rachel. If I still have breath, I’m going to make sure that Nathanial never is able to trap anyone else here. No more Jenna’s, no more Bobby’s…” He shook his head at Hal who frowned back at him like he still didn’t understand. **“Self-sacrifice will not mend the past.”** Dirk rested a hand on Hal’s shoulder; still very well aware he was talking to a hallucination. “But it will damn sure make a better future.” There was a pause, “I’m sorry… for what I tried to do to you in the game. I tried to end you… and I should have never done that to you, or myself. I am scared… especially to not exist.” Hal met his gaze before flickering out and leaving the room in darkness. He sucked in a breath, before letting it out to calm him. It was like a game of Russian roulette and he was playing with a gun fully loaded.

                He was terrified. But he wasn’t going to give up. Not today. The door banged open and he pretended to be asleep. Probably like Jenna had had to do so long ago now. He came at Rachel, who blinked up at him as he held her down by her throat and took off his belt. Dirk rose slowly and stepped toward him; he felt cold air on his back as his hand went over Nathanial’s shoulder. A gentle caress that made him turn sharply, brandishing a knife. Dirk smiled sweetly, “Nathan… I’ve had so long to think… I want to have a family with you.” He whispered into his ear, eyes focused on Rachel. “Please? I want you to show me how you make me want to have a family.” Rachel stared at him, her one violet eye left dilated and he winked at her leaning away as Nathanial slowly stepped away from Rachel. He took Dirk’s hand, running it over his own cheek, smelling it and kissing his wrist. Dirk swallowed before reaching up and pressing his lips to Nathanial’s. _“Pretend its Jake. Pretend its Jake.”_ The taste of blood was so disturbingly strong. Nathanial moaned into the kiss before pulling away, “Come on…” He whispered and Dirk looked back at Rachel for a moment, who was cowering in fear as he was led away into the bright hallway. Nathanial took him by the hand, lacing his fingers with his. “I’m so glad you finally agreed to love me, Dirk. I knew you would. Just like my brother, Daniel… He hated my father for forcing himself on the women he brought here, as do I on the women I bring here. But if that hadn’t happened, neither of us would have been born. You see, we just want a family, Daniel and I… mainly me.” Dirk swallowed as Nathanial brought him into a room that was too bright for him to really think. He shut his eyes, nearly forgetting he was light sensitive after all the time he was in the dark. His eyes shut and a cloth came over his mouth. “Sleep, Dirk…. Sleep. When you wake up everything will be alright.” He fell before he was realizing what was happening. This had not gone according to plan.

 xXx

                Dirk blinked his eyes open. He was naked, on a saw board. He groaned at the pain in his body, eyes squinting upward to see his hands bound, then looking down to see his legs were as well. In a split second he could see a saw going far too close to his genitals. _“Oh god this is what he meant but starting a family- that sicko wants to make me a woman by-“_ If he needed any more proof he could feel a hand moving up and down his thigh, “You have amazing bone structure… such soft skin and naturally hairless… You’re going to beautiful once we got those nasty bits off of you.” Dirk was gagged and he panicked, moving wildly but was tied too tightly. “You’ll have to suffer briefly… But just try to manage the pain… for my sake. And our children.” Nathanial was getting closer to him, stroking as he went. Dirk was pulling on one of his hands- it was slowly coming loose, his eyes kept glancing at the saw. “Don’t worry, after a few snips…There will be a soft place to welcome my seed… and grow our little family.” He sighed getting closer and closer. “Of course, the procedure will hurt, the conception and birth is well, never easy for anyone. But I’ll make it fast… just close your eyes and think of our wonderful children with bright eyes and such beautiful structure…” He got close enough to kiss him and Dirk reared back and head butted the shit out of him.

                Nathanial howled as Dirk pulled free and punched him in the jaw. It took a second to undo the other rope, before he was rolling out of Nathanial’s reach. Dirk had fire in his veins now- grabbing for a weapon that Nathanial had off to the side and swinging it like he belonged on the best baseball team ever founded. It knocked Nathanial into the table where he hit his head and knocked him out momentarily. Dirk stumbled backward, gasping and mix of emotions containing fear, rage, panic and relief. He let out an uneven breath that had a sound with it that was a cry of triumph. “Fucker-“ He spat before gathering up his clothing and slipping them back on, mid his rapid limp toward the only door that was open to the room. He stopped short, turning to lock the door behind him. Finding no lock he pushed down a filing cabinet beside the door to be in front of it. That would hold Nathanial only so long so he had to be quick. Dirk turned back to the room and stopped in his tracks. The room he had nearly forgotten about in the beginning with the jars filled with red. He swallowed, before dry heaving onto the floor. The jars were lining the wall were filled with organs and fetuses. All sorts that were either deformed or- or fresh- He couldn’t handle it- he couldn’t- Dirk held his stomach as he looked around at the parts of the room. There were kidneys in one part, livers underneath them- lungs- hearts. One of them was his and he didn’t know whether that drove him to the point of puking nothing or he had just finally lost it. **“Get up! This isn’t a time to give up!”** Hal was on the other end of the room. **“You had your own head cut off- get a grip!”** Dirk swallowed before struggling up, pushing the door open to the office area, stopping before he completely went out of the room to grab the keys hanging on the wall. There was a sign on the wall. It stated, ‘Welcome to Morris Woodworking!’ with a foundation date and picture of a man and a young boy that could only be Nathanial. He blinked, knowing if it was a wood working factory then there were fire escapes.

                Hal disappeared and he shook terribly- he had been winging it since escaping the cell. Dirk trembled with the keys in his hand, trying each one on the door before it opened and he pushed it wide. “Rachel!?” He yelled and she jumped, “Dirk?! Oh my god, I thought you were-“ He rushed in, grabbed the weapon he had made and took her by her hand, running back out of the room. Someone was crashing against a file cabinet from the sound of it. Dirk swallowed, looking around wildly and went an entirely different hallway than what he had before. There were doors that looked alike everywhere- he wasn’t going to make the same mistake he had the first time. “We’re in a factory- so there has got to be other exits and just two!” He gasped, leg still limping roughly from the old injury. His eyes were wide; at least the hallways were well-lit, despite his vision issues with that shared the same blessing. “Dirk!” Rachel pointed toward a hallway they were about the pass. Whatever this part of the factory was- it was like a damn maze. The blond let out a relieved breath- a hatch. They had been underground and there was a damn fire escape hatch. The exit door he had gone too in the beginning had just been a trap. “Come on!” He hissed, dragging her toward it. There was more banging. “STRIDER!” Nathanial roared not too far away and Dirk looked up at it.

                The ladder was missing leading up. “Shit…” He breathed before frowning up at it. It didn’t have a lock. “Get on my shoulders.” He told her and Rachel did a double take- “Can you support me?” Dirk shook his head, “Not the time to question- just do it!” Rachel climbed him and he almost buckled entirely. Hal was in the corner of his eye then, holding him up. Whatever hallucination Hal was, it was strong enough mentally to give him a boost of strength, having to hold Rachel up long enough for her to push open the hatch and climb out. He tossed the weapon up to her and she reached back her hand. Dirk looked up at her, relief flooding through him. He reached up a hand but he knew he couldn’t reach her. He dropped back down, shaking his head, “I can’t reach and neither can you- go without me!” She shook her head, “Dirk!” Her eyes filled with tears, “I’m not leaving you here!” Dirk stepped back, “You have to. Go to the police station. Tell them everything- absolutely everything- the names- me- Nathanial.“ He swallowed, “And if you meet someone named Jake English… tell him I love him. Please.” Nathanial was still bashing down doors behind him and he looked back, “Shut the hatch and run- I’ll keep him distracted as long as I can for you to get away. Just get away from here and fucking tell everyone what happened here, Rachel.” She bit her lip and shook her head, trying to reach for him still but finally stopped, “I’m sorry, Dirk- I’m so sorry…” Dirk nodded, “I know, Rach, I know, close the hatch. Run, don’t look back.” She nodded, taking the weapon he had made before shutting the hatch back down and he let out a breath. Hal was beside him looking back the way they had come. **“You did it, you saved the girl.”** Dirk nodded, “Now for the hard part.” He whispered and Hal disappeared again. He went through the first door he found that was unlocked.

                Dirk was hoping for a room with two exits- or at least something other than a broom closet. He swallowed, knowing that it was bad luck. He ran his fingers through his hair- Nathanial would kill him for sure this time. But he had succeeded in the main goal- freeing Rachel. That made him damn near gleeful, but the fear of imminent death was severely downing his mood. He let out a low breath, tugging on the light in the room and stopped short. He had chemicals.

                Dirk had never claimed to be a scientist… but he knew enough about chemicals that he knew exactly what not to mix together on a sunny day in July. Or in this case, what exactly to mix together. His frown turned into a wicked grin. He took a can of acetone off the shelf, a few buckets, bleach, and a few containers of industrial grade cleaner crystals from the shelf. His eyes were wild as he peeked out of the closet and carried out the items. He went into an office area in one of the rooms in the next hallway. Dirk poured the acetone into one of the buckets, then the bleach into the cleaner crystals. He set the crystal container with a cap on it into the acetone and ran out of the room after shutting the door. Nathanial was at the end of the hall, screaming out a string of profanities. Dirk ran the opposite direction and the chemicals didn’t take long to react. There was an explosion so large the entire hallway burst into flames. He had a bit left and rounded the corner, making another bomb right in the middle of the damn hallway. Two hallways were set aflame and it was only rising. He ran, the fire spreading crazy fast- eating the air and the chemicals- the grime and the things that gave it strength. Dirk ducked as Nathanial came through the fire, swinging at him with a hammer and connected with the wall. Something exploded and all he saw were flames erupt from the ceiling.

                 Nathanial was on top of him. Hitting him over and over again as the world burned around them. Dirk just laughed, blood showing between his white teeth. Dirk's grin was a mix of insanity, isolation, and hate. "Who’s the bitch now?" Dirk sneered up at him, Nathanial punched him again, blood flowing freely from his nose now. "What do did you do?! Where did she go?! WHAT DID YOU DO?" Dirk just kept laughing. "What do you do when one of your pets escape?!" He screamed back at him, eyes lit with ferocity that had long since been dead. "Rachel is gone... and no matter how many times you beat me, rape me, or rip me apart- Your kingdom will come crashing down!” He punched him back, teeth bloody and eyes reflecting the flames around them. “The prince is awake, bitch! And your shit is wrecked!" The blood dribbled down his lips as Nathanial snarled as Dirk stared up at him, grin still on his face. “I. Win.” There was another explosion of flame, large enough to knock Nathanial off of him and Dirk into the wall. He blinked, staring at the fire coming toward him. Nathanial was nowhere to be seen. He let out a low breath, feeling it choke him and he rested his head on the floor. _“I did it… I rescued Rachel. I beat Nathanial. He can’t destroy any more lives. There won’t be any more Jenna’s… or Rachel’s… or Bobby’s… or Dirk’s…”_ He drew a broken breath, _“Funny thing is… when I’m at the moments of my life… I’m not near as ready to die as I thought I was going to be.”_

xXx

                Jake drove like a bat out of hell. He hit each bump in the road at a good eighty miles an hour. His eyes were narrowed on the dark roar, feeling something deep in chest that things were going terribly wrong. He had never shaken the feeling since Dirk had been missing but now it just… pulsed in his chest. The man didn’t flicker his gaze away at all, rounding each bend in the dirt road like a mad person until he saw an outline- hitting the breaks and stopping at someone who was running in the road. His eyes went wide and Jane left the car with him. A girl, maybe seventeen at the oldest, was breathing hard and was still trying to keep going. Jake shook his head stepping in front of her, “What the hell, hey wait, stop we’re here to help!” He stopped her and at first she tried to fight him before she realized that he wasn’t trying to hurt her, “Thank god- Please- You have to help me- My friend Dirk- he’s trapped with this lunatic back at this house I just escaped from- There’s a hatch- basement- he’s in the basement!“

                Jake’s eyes widened, “Did you say Dirk?” She nodded, “Please- You have to help him-!” There wasn’t even a moment’s pause, before he was helping her to Jane. “Jane, get her in the car! Take her to the hospital! I’m going after Dirk. Call an ambulance to the house!” He was already running backwards and Jane nodded, “Come on, we’re going to take you to a safe place.” Jane soothed her, getting her in the front seat as Roxy still had a gun on Daniel who snarled and spat curses behind has gag. They didn’t want to leave Jake, but they had to take care of the girl and Daniel before he did something far worse than what he already had. Roxy had the EMT’s on the phone, telling them that someone had been had been shot and to have them come as fast as they possibly could. No one had been shot- they hoped- but the emergency personnel would come faster than if they just started spilling their usual gambit of a kidnapper. Roxy hung up, eyes never leaving Daniel.

                Jake’s arms pumped by his side as he ran full speed toward Nathanial’s house, knowing that if the girl could make it so injured, he could certainly make it back there. His only thought was Dirk and what was happening. It made him run faster until he slid to a stop. The house in front of him was alight with flames. They were busting out windows in some parts of the house. His breath caught and he shook his head- he had to know. Even if he found him dead- he had to know. Jake covered his face and arms, running through the open door that had burst off its hinges. He was immediately blinded by smoke and flame. He called out for him, screaming his name in the madness and chaos- the roar around his ears had deafened him. He knew there was basement from what the girl had said. Jake pulled out a gun, from the inside of his jacket, staying low and making his way toward the center of the home where he saw a staircase going up. There was no staircase going down and he had to cross into the kitchen to avoid another burst of flame. He saw smoke coming up from behind the refrigerator and started to pull it out- a waste of time perhaps but he didn’t have much of choice- the entire building was quickly running out of places to avoid being burnt to death that he could get to. He pulled it out and descended the staircase downward, shirt over his mouth to help him breathe through the smoke, though it did very little good.

                He felt the doors, hissing as a few burned him. He made his way through the smoke and torture rooms, eyes wide in fear and hate. Knowing that if Nathanial hadn’t burnt to death already that he would torture him for years for what he had done to Dirk. He passed a cell that was open and so far untouched. His eyes flickered, passing a hallway where an explosion had ripped through it and being blocked by another wall of fire. Jake called out for him again, screaming his name over the sounds of things exploding in not only the house but the factory above them. It was like something guided his eyes to the pile of debris from a recent eruption through a wall of red and orange. He just saw a tuff of hair and a twitch of a hand. “Dirk?!” He yelled and looked around- nothing that could protect him but like hell he cared about that when Dirk was right _there._ He took a step back and jumped through the flames, rolling to extinguish himself before knelling to start to unbury Dirk. “Dirk! Dirk, answer me!” His voice cracked, not from the panic of the building burning but that he might have been mere minutes too late. Jake looked around as more boards fell from the ceiling down to where they were. He dragged him out of the way, noticing how lighter he was. “Dirk!” He yelled, scooting to the far corner away from the flames. His eyes were wide; pushing Dirk’s hair out of his face- so matted with dirt he couldn’t see the blond in it.

                “Dirk- please- love, open your eyes.” He held him, glancing back up at the flames that were coming closer and closer. Dirk’s eyes cracked open a hairline to see Jake and he let out a cough. “Jake…” He croaked and Jake let out breath of relief, “Thank you- Oh god, thank you. Yes, it’s me.” He whispered, “I’m here- I’m here now.” He looked up at the flames. “It’s okay.” Dirk blinked up at him, lips cracked and brain muddled. Dirk wasn’t sure if it was an angel or actually Jake that was coming to rescue him. His eyes drifted off to the side as a shadow rose from the flame. Jake heard the roar before he saw the man charging at them and took the gun from the floor the same moment that Dirk grabbed Jake’s secondary inside his jacket. They both pointed, and fired, hitting Nathanial square in both eyes. Dirk’s hand fell and Jake caught it, lifting Dirk up into his arms. “I’ve got you- I’ve got you-.” Jake repeated, looking for a way to escape but finding none. Floorboards came down above them and it drove Jake farther back, Dirk a cross between coherent and too weak to function. “Stay with me, Dirk-“ He told him and Dirk nodded, limp in his arms. “Leave me…” He mumbled, eyes slowly shutting again. Jake shook his head, “Over my dead body. I’m not leaving you here.” He whispered, looking at the wall behind him now. Maybe he could kick it down into another room? Jake started doing that, shooting the wall to make it easier before a whistle was heard.

                “Up here!” Jake looked up at a group of men in ranger uniforms with firefighting masks on. They offered a rope that Jake immediately grabbed, holding onto Dirk for dear life. They were pulled up, secured them and rushed out of the building. They took off their masks, gasping for breath before pulling both the men farther away from the burning house as it started to collapse down into the basement below. “How did you find us?” Jake gasped, looking down at Dirk as the men tried to stop some of the wounds that were bleeding. “A couple young ladies called the forest ranger service- said a house was on fire and there were people trapped inside- we came as quick as we could!” One of the older ones answered, giving oxygen to Dirk meanwhile, whose eyes were unfocused on the world around them. They seemed to find Jake and tried to focus, “Thank you-.” Jake gasped, getting a mask of oxygen himself. “Thank you-.” He took Dirk’s hand in his, not looking away from his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soon Dirk is faced with explaining himself to a court room full of people who don't understand what he's gone through. Dirk has a crisis with himself and the aftermath of what he's experienced. Not to mention, Dirk attends Jenna Summer's funeral. Stay tuned to see the life Dirk had being glued back together.


	13. Darkening Sky

His eyes slowly opened to sounds of activity. The lights were turned down in the room so much that he could just barely see outlines of furniture and people asleep around him. That was the only pro of having super light sensitivity; the parts of his eye that aided his night vision were incredible. He knew that was probably why he could see as well he did where he was in the cell. Hal was no where to be found in the room around him. His mind refused to him believe he was free, but he knew that he was. Dirk stared up at the ceiling, not needing to look around to realize where he was. His fingers felt the softness of the bed he was on, the pressure of needles in his skin, the clean white ceiling and curtains around his bed. The weights of other people making the bed dip down in certain places. He let out a breath through his nose, breathing down fresh air into his lungs that didn’t smell like rust or corpses immediately after from the oxygen mask. There was beeping beside him, noises of doctors and nurses. It would make sense that he was in the hospital. He tightened his fist, curled his toes, and moved his neck. Everything seemed to still be there- but even the small movements wore him out. He let out a breath that he had pent up in his chest when he moved, rising up a hand to brush a hand over his face. There was a pounding in his head… ache in his bones… throb in his chest.

                Guilt. Mostly that- and anger, sorrow, sickness, regret, hate and shame. He kept quiet as he let the tears flow. _"I should have died there."_ Dirk swallowed thickly, arms around himself. Wires crossed over him and he could feel every sharp dip and bone sticking out his skin. He let it out, tired of having it pent up but felt worthless for having it in the first place when he didn’t _deserve_ to have it. People like Jenna deserved to cry and thus he immediately willed the tears to a stop. He had only shed a few, but shoved the emotions back down into a jar inside his mind and shut it tight. The last time he had full out had an emotional breakdown had been with Jenna and before that, he was alone when his brother died… maybe a mental breakdown after Jake left him the first time. But three times in roughly twenty-so years was a record he wasn’t going to tarnish- especially if he didn’t deserve to cry in the first place. 

                He let out another breath, taking off the oxygen mask letting his lungs expand to the air around him that wasn’t from a canister. Dirk rubbed his eyes and glanced at the wires- if he pulled them off the hospital would rush into the room faster than security after a robbery in a casino. So he settled back against the pillows he was propped up with. He looked at Jake who was closest to him, head resting by his hip on the bed. Jake looked nearly as terrible as he did, worry lines clear on his features even in his sleep. His eyes saw Roxy; her skin damn near glowed in the darkness she was so pale it seemed. She looked distraught, as did Jane who was beside her. It reminded him of other times they thought one of them might leave or… or something else. They ended up back together… all of them with the same fear of losing the other.

                Jake stirred and Dirk didn’t know if he should play ‘dead’ or let him wake up to him. He didn’t have time to choose the former as Jake blinked open his eyes to look up at him. Green and orange met and Jake raised his head to look at Dirk, eyes widened and mouth slightly open. The other man worked his jaw, with a small shake of his head. He had a thousand things to say to Dirk that seemed to leave his brain all at once. The only left to think was, “I’m sorry.” It was the softest words Jake had ever uttered, but nearly more truthful than all he’d spoken before. Dirk stared at him, a beast inside his head that sounded so much like the metallic voice of Hal to him not to forgive him. But the look on his face, the feeling in his own heart. The aching in his heart just killed him from the inside out. Something that Nathanial could never do was rip out his core, but the ability was mastered by the one in front of him. “I know.” Dirk whispered and raised his hand to Jake’s cheek. He didn’t feel relief and he didn’t feel pain either. Maybe that was his medium that he found he could live with. It was a horrible realization that it could have been Jake; that he loved Jake _so much,_ that Jake could have done everything Nathanial had and he would still forgive him and still love him afterward too.

Jake shook his head, “No- Please don’t say that- That you know I'm sorry-.” Jake whispered, taking his hand in his. “I should have never said anything that I did- I was horrible to you- Absolutely horrible to do the things I did to you- You aren’t a robot, god, you’re more considerate than I am. You-“ He worked his mouth, eyes searching Dirk’s who looked damn passive about what he was saying. Jake swallowed, “You would think I would have appreciated the best thing in my life more than I did. I can’t even say I was drunk to make it better because there is simply no way for me to… to ever make what I did better.” He shook his head, “I’m… so sorry, Dirk. I hurt you and… and what happened-” Dirk blinked before holding up his hand, “That’s enough, Jake.” Jake’s mouth shut, taking in a breath to hold there. Dirk shook his head, “I… I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” The other man looked like Dirk had hit him, but recovered, “Alright… If that’s what you want.” Jake murmured, letting out the breath, “I’m… glad you woke up.” Jake didn’t say what he wanted to but that was close enough to it. Roxy and Jane stirred when someone split something outside. They woke and there were almost dual squeals of joy before they rushed to hug him. He wrapped his arms tightly around them, shutting his eyes and Jake stepped away, wanting more than anything to be a part of the embrace.

xXx

“My name is Vincent McClure, I’m your public appointed attorney.” Dirk shook the hand that was offered to him, eyes narrowed with deep frown since the lights were turned up again. “Dirk Strider.” Obviously the attorney already knew who he was, but it was socially acceptable to introduce yourself as well. The news had already had a field day with trying to get into the hospital. Especially with all the new ‘information’ about the case and how Dirk had escaped; and even better they were making up their own stories about how he had somehow instigated it through public hate of Nathanial Morris. Being civil to his lawyer would at least be a little proof that he wasn’t a complete psychopath like the news hinted he was. “Jane Crocker.” Jane introduced herself with a smile, shaking Vincent’s hand as well. Jake and Roxy had gone to the house to pick up a few articles of clothing (his glasses mainly) and Jane had stayed behind. It had been about a week since Dirk had been rescued and only now did someone take action in giving _him_ a lawyer. Victim advocates were as helpful as ‘cactus in one’s ass’ as Roxy has growled after the rather tart woman had informed him that there would be a trial and he shouldn’t expect anything dire to happen since he’d shot the person in question.

                Dirk seemed far too unemotional about it all. Like someone had cut him off from the rest of his feelings or he had simply stopped having them. They had put him back on his depression medication, though they didn’t seem to do much good at times. Though Roxy and Jake were supposedly the closest to him, the one he truly confided in was Jane. Ever since the other two had left, it had been nonverbal communication between the woman and him. It wasn’t that he was upset with Roxy or Jake- perhaps a bit still with Jake-, he simply felt… like he wasn’t feeling pressured with Jane. Maybe it was because Jane and Jenna were so much alike. The lawyer pulled up a chair, looking at Dirk with a slight frown. “Now that I’ve seen you, I think the media are full of themselves.” The blond raised an eyebrow before turning the lights low now he could open his eyes to more than squint. Vincent glanced up at the lights before taking out a pen and paper. Jane watched the two of them with hesitant eyes. After the victim advocate woman, all of them were wary of letting people near Dirk. “Just letting you know that Daniel Clements was proved to be Nathanial Morris’ brother through their father. Different mothers and Daniel took his mother’s last name. How that got passed the back-ground check we’ll never know.” He added the last bit with a hint of sarcasm.

                Dirk nodded, “He’s in custody?” Vincent nodded, “Thankfully yes. Ms. Gates report and… well, proof, was enough to have the department hold him in jail instead of just a twenty-four hour period. She wants to see you by the way, along with her family.” The man was maybe in his late thirties, with slowly graying sideburns and hazel eyes and reddish brown hair. “I’m sure you’ve probably recounted what happened to the police about a million and a half times… but I need to hear it now. I’ve read over the report they sent me and frankly, I know there are holes in it.” Dirk stiffened, knowing he had left things out that were... hard, to discuss. Vincent shifted a bit, looking at him. “Mr. Strider, I don’t want to make you relive any of what you just went through. Not a moment of it. But there are people outside this hospital that believe you faked this entire thing to kill a supposed upstanding member of the community on trial for a rape they believe he didn’t commit. I need to know everything.” He looked into Dirk’s orange eyes and Jane reached over to take his hand, almost to offer him a bit of strength to hold onto. Dirk stared him down at first before looking at the pen and paper. “Fine. Everything.”

 xXx

                Jane was crying for him when he finished. Several pages of yellow notebook paper sat to the side of the lawyer who had to replace his pen once already. Even he looked mildly disturbed by what he was hearing. Jane and Vincent were the only ones beside Dirk who knew _everything_ that had happened to him in that place. Jake and Roxy hadn’t returned yet either, and would stay blissfully ignorant from what happened until it came to light in trial. Vincent stopped writing a few moments after he had stopped talking. He had a frown almost sown onto his face. “…I…honestly don’t know what to say.” He murmured softly and Dirk drew in a deep breath. “It’s a lot to take in.” Was his soft answer and Vincent nodded, “It’s a lot to live through, I imagine.” Jane swallowed; hand still in Dirk’s and blowing her nose into a tissue Dirk had given her after the discussion of Jenna’s death. Vincent sighed, “I will do everything I can to make sure you get at least something akin to justice… especially for Jenna and the other hundred and two that never got to have their lives.” Dirk simply nodded and Vincent started to gather his things. “Jenna Summer’s funeral is two days from now… I can make arrangements for you attend if you wish.”

                Dirk looked up at him as he shut his briefcase. The man nodded, “Yes, please.” Vincent immediately returned his nod, “I’ll make sure a car can pick you up to drive you. Will anyone else be attending?” The blond glanced at Jane, who cleared her throat, “Jake and Roxy will want to come with us.” Dirk looked back at the lawyer, “Alright, I’ll come see you again at the funeral. I’m representing all the parties against the Morris case so I will be attending as well.” He shook their hands again before he stepped out, and Dirk could clearly see Roxy and Jake carrying shopping bags and a duffle bag from his apartment at the end of the hall. Dirk let out a breath before glancing at Jane, “Don’t tell them.” She blinked, opening her mouth before frowning. “Dirk…” He shook his head, “I don’t want the pity. I don’t want them to know what I did.” Jane glanced at their friends coming toward them, “You survived, Dirk. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Dirk didn’t answer her as Jake and Roxy came back in, setting down the bags. “Who was that?” Roxy asked, taking up her chair by Dirk’s left side. “My new lawyer.” Jake nodded, “Seemed like a nice chap.” Jane sighed, “Was honest at least, a lot better than the lady who came.” There was a snort from Roxy, “Anyone is better than that.” Dirk lapsed into silence as they talked amongst themselves before he spoke again, not really sure where the conversation was at that point. “I need a suit for Jenna’s funeral.” Jane explained when the other’s gave him a confused looks and Roxy gave Dirk a saddened look, “We’ll get you one, Dirk.”


	14. Oblivion

Dirk wasn’t entirely sure why he had been staring the pot of lilies above Jenna Summer’s closed casket. He didn’t know how long he’d been their either. There was soft piano music in the background and he was holding himself up by a cane while he stared at the plant. A breeze from the open window gentle rustled the leaves. It only now occurred to him that he truly had no idea why lilies were the chosen funeral flower arrangements. Jenna liked sunflowers much better than lilies, solely because her mother took her to sunflower fields to play when she was younger. The man found them odd as well, to have next to a casket. Flowers shouldn’t be there- they should be at a grave, or a dinner table, or… or still in the ground. Not set beside her like a slow to wither monument that her life was gone. And it had just slowly burnt out like the flowers were now.

                He didn’t have any idea that he was crying. Just staring at this pure white plant in her favorite color pot- a bright lime green color that she said it made her think of freshness. He knew too much about her to have it seem to be normal. That he shouldn’t have been around to know her. He should have killed Nathanial before he had gotten to her and died. She should have been married with kids, husband and yappy wiener dog in a nice house with a great car- but… no. She had been stuck with him. Now she was dead. Because of _him_ … If she had just let Nathanial kill him, she would have lived and the next victim would have found a way to save them.

                Tears made twin tracks down his cheeks behind his sunglasses, completely destroying his ‘stoic’ image he was trying to hold onto by strings. He _did_ notice that Roxy was gently whispering to him that they needed to move on since there were other people in line that needed to say goodbye as well, Jake on his other side to help guide him on a premade path Dirk had already forgotten. Dirk swallowed, nodding as he followed Jake, limping with his cane to follow in line behind him. He would have stayed there for perhaps weeks if not ushered by Roxy’s gentle hands on his arm back toward his seat. The lawyer was beside them, dressed in black like they all were. He offered a flicker of a tense smile in Dirk’s direction before letting them pass him to sit down.

                The blond didn’t stand when they called for people who knew to say something. He didn’t utter a word, shed a tear, or move. Any of them would have said he hadn’t even let out breath as many of Jenna’s peers, family or co-workers rose to say the most beautiful things about her. Jenna Summers had been a straight ‘A’ medical student, interning at a well-known psychologist’s office and was going to become an absolute fantastic doctor one day. She was inspiring, sweet, and intelligent. He still couldn’t raise his head, held down by the guilt that he felt for having her there in that box instead of him. Maybe if he had held the rag a little tighter, maybe if he had just… not given up and done the same thing he had with Rachel. Jake had one arm around him since Dirk had started to shake without his knowledge. He held the other together and Dirk swallowed, resting his head down into his hand while his elbow stood up on his knee. The other hand used the cane to keep him grounded, even while he sat in the church pew.

                Vincent had come to pick them up, just as he promised, an hour ago to come for the funeral. They had gotten there a tad bit after the family had already gone into the main room to settle down.  Rachel and her family arrived soon after they did, though neither of them spoke yet. The other funerals for the victims of Nathanial Morris were taking place in different locations, though there were pictures of them off to the side. Each person who had been proven to be taken by Morris sat up on a table beside the casket, Dirk and Rachel’s weren’t among them. The sun poured the through the stained glass windows of the church; it was a beautiful day outside strange enough. The flowers, sunshine, and birds chirping were too out of place in Dirk’s mind to have a funeral going on. The world needed to stop and realize it had lost one of the thirteen billion people on the planet. People needed to stop and realize what a human she had been, to have taken from the Earth in a single moment.

Dirk couldn’t stop shaking.

                Rachel was behind him in the pews, eyepatch black as her dress. She reached forward and squeezed his shoulder tightly. Jake glanced back at her to see her one eye tearing up. Not for the woman who she never knew, but because of the pain for the man who had known her. There was strength in that hand, and thus Dirk laced his fingers with Rachel’s on his shoulder. Her family beside her didn’t say anything to stop her, knowing that there was a reason behind this gesture. Dirk eventually settled from his near panic attack, letting Rachel have her hand back. It slid off his shoulder slowly in case he needed to take it again. She sat back and Dirk looked up to see a group of men stand, take the casket and people around them all slowly start to rise. Jane whispered to Roxy that there was a path off to the side and they headed that direction, sliding into a black car with Vincent who said nothing. The car ride in the funeral line was surprisingly slow, sliding behind each car in line slowly toward the plot they had marked for the Summer’s family. Funeral processions made every other car let them pass by, but Dirk didn’t look at those staring back at them. Police escorted them through the streets in the front and in the back since the media had blown the entire case out of proportion.

                His eyes shut, face turned out toward the streets they were passing. Vincent answered his phone before going into soft spoken words with his secretary. His fingers memorized the shape of his tie with how often he ran over it. Dirk could hear the fabric rustling from where he was, the car was so silent. Dirk reopened his eyes to see them pass through the last stop light and turn into the road curving into the city’s largest cemetery. It was all so strange… who erected giant stone statues to make a record of who they put into the ground? It was all foreign to him, never being around that sort of thing before hand and the game… no one stayed dead or you simply didn’t have time to grieve. They left the car, stepping toward the circle gathering around the coffin about to be lowered down after they said a few lines from what he assumed was the Bible. He had never read it, by his future it had been chopped and mutilated that it had just become another relic that was lost in time. Dirk wondered if he should consider looking at it as the priest closed the book, speaking the last words. “Chapters always end. But with the endings, comes new beginnings.”

                Jenna Summer’s fiancé was off to the side with her parents, all three looking like they wanted to throw themselves into the pit with their loved one. Dirk looked away, shame building up in his chest yet again. He knew he would have to say something… _anything._ The coffin was lowered, the dirt piled onto the wooden decorated rectangle, and swallowed by darkness. Yet another thing she hated… darkness. She had told him that she had slept with a nightlight since she was five years old. Dirk swallowed as the crowd dispersed to either talk to the parents or go home, sharing words with the people next to them. He waited in line to speak to Jenna’s parents, taking a deep breath to calm himself meanwhile.

                The others had been asked to stay behind as he went up to face the Summer’s alone. He used the cane to limp forward toward them. Her father was a tall man, with dark olive toned features and high cheek bones. Her mother looked so much like Jenna except for her lighter skin tone it was uncanny. Seeing them both there caused him to go slack jawed in front of them. His mouth opened and shut as he looked at the ground, unable to hold Jenna’s mother’s similar gaze. “I… I wanted to apologize.” He whispered, eyes brimming with tears again that he could not stuff away and put a lid on his already cracking jar of emotions. Dirk couldn’t see the look on the family’s faces as he kept going; mouth running on without his consent. “I’m… I’m so sorry… Jenna was so wonderful to me when we were… were t-there.” He swallowed, “She’s the reason I’m still there and if I could trade places-s, I would and I’m just so- so sorry that I couldn’t save-e your daughter-“ He was caught off guard by her mother reaching forward to pull him into a hug.

                He swallowed, trying to keep himself in check. They had lost a daughter and a wife; they didn’t need him to be moaning about his loss when theirs were far greater in his mind. “It’s alright.” The woman whispered, rubbing his back. “You did the best you could… Vincent told us what you did for our little girl… I’m glad you were there for her.” She pulled back to search his gaze, looking so much like Jenna it burnt him to his soul. “You are not responsible for what happened, but I’m glad that… man, is gone.” She nodded and stiffened herself and he nodded return, and the fiancé, Mark, stepped forward to shake his hand. For a moment he thought he knew the other. He was tall, black haired with another color in it, with a lilac purple colored scarf around his neck. He frowned, looking up at him for a moment. If this were the game, he would have nearly thought he was looking up at one of the trolls… “Thank you… for helping Jenna.” His voice sounded familiar too but Dirk swallowed, “I’m sorry that it wasn’t enough to bring her home.” Mark nodded, “Me too…” He shook his hand before Dirk stepped away and headed back towards the group waiting for him. Roxy wrapped her arms around him soon as he was close enough. “Let’s get you back into bed... maybe we can sneak in a few burgers into the hospital.” She murmured; hand on his arm once more.

                Rachel stepped up to Dirk from the side with her elder brother behind her. He was dark haired like she was, the same shade of violet blue eyes. “I wanted to thank you.” Her voice was a tad bit strained from the tears earlier. “So did my parents.” He frowned, honest confusion on his face. The elder couple came to stand beside their son as Rachel smiled gently, “For saving my life.” Her older brother put a hand on her shoulder, her parents nodding. Dirk shook his head, eyes falling to the ground, “You did most of the saving.” Rachel shook her head, “We both know you saved my life, Dirk.” She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him on his cheek before smiling at the others. “Take care of yourself.” Rachel nodded, stepping away and Dirk shrugged, almost flickering a smile in her direction, “I’ll make an attempt.” Rachel laughed softly before letting out a low breath. “It’s over now. We can go back to our lives.” There was silence before Dirk looked at the tombstone with Jenna’s name on it. “Only if all of us were so lucky.” He breathed, she followed his gaze, “I’m sure wherever she ended up, Dirk… She’s happy now.”

                There was no one else left to talk to or tears to let flow after Rachel went off with her family. Dirk was back in the car, tired and not willing to socialize any longer, chest aching so hard it hurt to breath. Jane rested her head on his shoulder, looking out the window. She had come back to the car with him when he had muttered he was tired. “You okay?” She whispered and Dirk shrugged the shoulder that she wasn’t resting on. “No.” The woman nodded, “You know that’s okay to feel like that, right?” Dirk repeated the action, before whispering back, “Then why do I wish I was dead?” There was a pause in the car before she said softly, “Because you fought a mental, physical and emotional battle that was so hard you’re still recovering… give it time, Dirk. You have people here to support you in every way. Don’t give up hope.” She murmured back to him to have him draw shaky breath as the other three finally joined them in the back of the long car. “Why do they have lilies at funerals?” Dirk asked her and she looked up at Dirk, slight frown on her features as Jake and Roxy slid into the seats facing them. “They symbolize the innocence that has been restored to the soul of the departed. White stargazer lilies symbolizes sympathy and any type of white lily expresses majesty and purity.” Dirk swallowed, “No one deserved them more than she did then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the lateness. I've broken my wrist so I'm slow typing at the moment. The next chapter or second to next will be the ending of Spectrum.


	15. Wires

                Tanned fingers worked the tie slowly around Dirk’s neck when he stood in front of the other. It was three weeks after the funeral by the time a new judge had been appointed and the prosecutor, with Vincent, had decided who to have on the jury. Daniel was going to be on trial today and charges were being brought against Dirk as well. The blond stared straight ahead as Jake continued to work on his tie, brows furrowed in thought on Jake’s part. Apparently there had been evidence that Dirk had faked this entire thing to have Nathanial Morris either killed or wrongfully imprisoned. Roxy even had a charge brought against her for prostitution when they had caught Daniel. They were both lucky not to be in handcuffs. Jake had a deep frown set into his face, the orange fabric moving through his fingers until they lay perfectly flat against the blonde’s chest. “You should let me tell them.” He said softly to the other man, orange eyes moved from the wall to stare into green. “Tell them what.” Dirk said softly and Jake held his gaze, frown deep set on his features, “That you and I both did it. I shot Nathanial just as much as you did.” There was a snort before Dirk looked away, “Right. And they are so accurate with their justice system these days that they would clearly see you were rescuing someone after long hours of torture and captivity. No, Jake, you aren’t going to tell them.” He shook his head as Jake’s hands dropped to his sides. “Besides,” Dirk added a moment later, turning partly away from him to reach for his cane, “-I need you here with the girls.” The taller stopped, “Why do you say that, Dirk?”

                The blond looked up at him from behind his sunglasses. “You seem to worry about the girls more than you worry about _us._ You always tell me to look after them.” Dirk blinked before looking back at him, “Jake, I just need you here with them. In case something goes wrong- I need to know that you can look out for them.” Another pause, “-And Dave.” Jake sighed running a hand through his hair, “I wish you wouldn’t talk like that… but I can’t help but agree with the way the justice system is handling this. I just… I want us to be the way it was before all this bloody hell happened.” Dirk laughed a bit bitterly then and Jake stopped short, mouth half open to say something but it never came. The paler shook his head, “Found it ironic. That _you’re_ the one wishing this all never happened.”

                Jake worked his mouth before stopping, “Dirk, I… I can’t say I’m sorry enough for-“ Dirk rounded on him, stepping closer until they were inches apart. Jake nearly took a step back, something in the other’s eyes looked so very unlike Dirk it was like he wasn’t looking at them at all. The sounds of the hospital were right outside the room, moving beds and beeping monitors alike. “I want you here. I’ve got everything here. My sister, my best friend, and my ex-lover. It’s better to leave that behind in good hands than any other option.” Jake blinked rapidly, leaning away from him for a moment like he had physically hit him across the face. In some higher level, Jake knew that after what he said Dirk would probably never want anything to do with him, but it still didn’t make him hurt any less. There was pull inside his chest that made it feel as if someone was putting pressure on him until he couldn’t breathe. “Oh.” Jake said and nodded, finally taking a step back as Dirk’s face returned impassive. “Wait outside; I’ll be out in a moment.” Jake could only move his head in what could be related to acknowledgement before letting himself out.

                **“Harsh.”** Hal was off to the side, sitting on his hospital bed examining his fingertips where nails would be if not covered by the electronical red ‘Tron’ suit he was wearing. He had simply appeared without a sound, just like before. Dirk glanced at him in the mirror he was limping toward and straightening the tie around his neck. “He needed to hear it. It’s better to not have your hopes up with me- I end up destroying them. Anyway, why am I seeing you? I’m on my meds.” Hal snorted, looking at his own reflection in the mirror as he stood behind Dirk. **“Besides the pun you just made about hope and destroying that I’m choosing to ignore… I wasn’t created from the lack of medication. Sure, that’s what helped me manifest as a responding hallucination… but I formed as companionship in a situation that required- or at least that’s what you mentally told yourself- you to have a second input. Thus, I was formed as almost a split personality hallucination.”** Dirk scoffed, “I don’t have a split personality.” Hal nodded, **“No, you don’t. I’m a hallucination brought on by the same mental fear you’re facing then as you are now. You may be on your meds but I was already mentally created by that point… Do you understand what I’m saying?”** Dirk didn’t even pause like he had done with Jake, “Of course, you’re me as much as I am you. It makes perfect sense.” He did the buttons on his suit better to not show off his scars on his hands from the flames or the- Dirk didn’t complete the thought as Hal spoke up again. **“Regardless… I’m more concerned about what’s going to happen after the trial this afternoon.”** Someone called over the intercom for a doctor before Dirk answered him, “What do you think is going to happen?” Hal came up in front of him, straightening his tie before brushing off a bit of lint on Dirk’s suit. **“There is a 79% chance that you will be let free and Daniel will face his crimes, along with his brother who is now hopefully suffering hell. There is only a 3% chance that Hell exists, just so you know. But there is a still a significant chance that you will be put into prison for false crimes, out of that outcome, an 80% chance of a privately owned prison which are much worse than state owned.  And…”** Hal went silent before looking up at him with his red eyes, they flickered between Dirk’s. **“There is a 98% chance, regardless of outcome, that you will commit suicide out of massive amounts of guilt over Jenna Summer’s death and all those before her. Not to mention the depression that your medication is unable to handle and your self-ensured break-up with the love of your life… Dirk… You have options; you don’t have to do this...”**

                Dirk stared him down, looking so very tired by that point. Dark circles under his eyes, very little weight gained back, sunken features and even hair and eyes being a duller shade. Hal blinked up at him for a moment before stepping out of Dirk’s way. “Is this some sort of last ditch effort to save yourself?” Dirk asked Hal before the hallucination started to rapidly turn to smoke behind him, Dirk’s hand being on the cane now. **“No… it’s me trying to save something that’s worth the attempt.”** Dirk shut his eyes to breathe in before limping toward the door with his cane, opening it to the group he had once called friends. Hal had disappeared once more. Jane glanced at Jake who didn’t meet Dirk’s gaze, before offering a small smile to the blond. “Let’s get going.”

~~~

                "I have been beaten... electrocuted, burnt, drown, raped, starved, experimented on... tortured." He whispered, "For months, I was held hostage by Nathanial Morris. My... My cellmate, Jenna Summers, kept me alive while I was there. When she was... murdered and her child died with her…" His throat got thick, "She was replaced by Rachel Gates... who had her eye removed because she looked at him too long and he thought her lilac colored eyes were ‘pretty’." His voice lowered even more. "Ask me again, whether I think this bastard deserved to die for what he did to us... all 104 of us. And his so called brother, who tried to kidnap my sister, that he should spend the rest of his life in prison for what he helped Morris do." Dirk had been called as a witness in the trial by this point. Daniel was sitting across from him, a smug look on his face until Dirk had opened his mouth to spill his story. Like he had believed Dirk would shrivel and whimper at the story. Vincent sat in silence while Jake and Roxy looked utterly horrified. Jane, who had heard his story, kept her gaze locked on Dirk, mentally willing strength to him as he recounted his story to a courtroom full of people. There were cameras on him, a jury of people looking stricken, and a judge who sat on her pedestal with a similar look of a vulture. The judge’s glasses reflected down at him and he couldn’t… help but find her familiar.

                The prosecutor, George Church, was frozen in his tracks, paper of questions in his hands that had been answered by the story. Jake looked as if he might just puke and Dirk was fairing no better. Daniel had already swore up and down that he had simply been taking Roxy home, that what was said hadn’t happened and they were all lying. Nathanial wasn’t there to defend himself and Rachel, when she took the stand, spoke her story as well. It painted Dirk to be the hero he didn’t feel like he was. Jenna Summer’s family was beside Jane, who sat on the right of Jake and Roxy. The courtroom was silent except for the cameras rolling behind the seats that were filled to the breaking point- having many people standing around them. Everyone had a stake in this case, far too many people for anyone’s liking.

                “Mr. Strider, you say all of this happened to you under Nathanial Morris’ care-.” There were soft mutterings about the word through the audience- especially from Roxy, who found the word ‘care’ a harsh misusage.  “Did you ever try to escape?” Dirk raised an eyebrow, “As I’ve already said, I tried that twice. The first time I was hit with a mallet in the head that you can see by the hospital records actually cracked my skill and the second time I killed Nathanial Morris to make sure Rachel got away safely.” Church frowned before walking back and forth around the room, being a heavy set man with small eyes and greasy dark hair, his breathing was a bit labored through his nose. “So you admit to killing him?” Dirk stared him down, “Yes. It was him or me.” There was angry muttering in the room and the judge hit her wooden mallet a few times. “Quiet.” She called and Church had a lopsided smile on his face, “And what had you been doing prior to Mr. Morris supposedly kidnapping you?”

                Dirk sighed, “I was at a bar with a few friends.” Church still smiled, but it grew bigger, like he had caught some dastardly deed in the act, “Drinking and with Roxy LaLonde who currently has a charge against her for prostitution with my client?” Dirk frowned hard, “I’d refrain from calling my sister a-!” Vincent stood, “Objection, that’s assuming in far more places than I would like. Not only that, brow beating the witness who has already gone through enough emotional turmoil isn’t going to get us anywhere.” The judge nodded before Church simply shrugged, “And I am to understand, Mr. Strider, that you have no proof of any of this besides evidence that the hospital collected? And if you were drinking… how do we know that you just didn’t get high- that seems like what the kids are doing these days- and got so drunk that you’ve been at a crack house fighting for these last few months? How do we know that you didn’t do this to yourself?” Dirk stared him down, anger in his features that would make grown men quiver in their boots, “You think I would do this to myself?”

                Church shrugged, “People in Russia throw themselves in front of semi-trucks to claim insurance… You might have a vendetta against Nathanial Morris like the other people who claimed to have their sons or daughters taken within the last _week-_ they simply wanted a man to go to jail and were creating false reports. So tell me, what’s your excuse, Mr. Strider?” Dirk suddenly wanted to rip Church’s eyes of his head, “If you think I did all of this- and I suppose that you think I killed Jenna too- to myself and Rachel, you’re one sick bastard.”

The prosecutor frowned, “Are you threatening me, Mr. Strider?” Dirk nearly rose out his seat, “I might be! You can tarnish my name but I’ll be damned if you say something about any of them!” The judge banged her mallet and Dirk immediately looked at her, having a brief flashback of Nathanial hitting the mallet against the wall where his head was a few seconds before. He swallowed, immediately clutching the side of the booth he was in to keep from running or ducking from the imaginary mallet. “Sit down, Mr. Strider.” She ordered him and he immediately sat, breath coming fast. The lawyer huffed, watching the brief attack Dirk seemed to be having. He turned on his heel toward the jury, “As you can see, my fair people. There is little to no evidence against my client. This may be true about Nathanial Morris, but he isn’t here to speak for himself. But Mr. Strider is and as he has already stated, clearly killed him. Nathanial Morris was going to be let free from his house arrest very soon- could this be the act of Dirk Strider himself? Who saw that Morris was going to be let free and turned to his own actions? We may never know. But I urge you to listen to the facts about this case and not the word of a barely legal young man who was drunk, more than likely drugged, and rash.”

Jake knew Jane was about to jump to her feet to sock the lawyer in his face and had a firm hand on her but didn’t manage to hold Roxy down. She jumped to her feet, “You son of a bitch! You didn’t see him when he got back! You didn’t see him when they pulled him from the fire!” Roxy was screaming at the lawyer as Jake stood to wrap his arms around her waist, “You sick bastard you didn’t see him! You didn’t see him!” She had tears of black running down her face as Vincent called over the mutterings in the court room and the screaming for a short recess. The prosecuting lawyer held up a finger, “Oh thank you, Mrs. LaLonde! I forgot to ask why arson wasn’t on the list of charges against Mr. Strider.” The mallet was banged, “Mr. Church! In my chambers, now!” The judge pointed to her chambers before dismissing the jury for a decision. There was a recess for the court when she stood and Church followed her inside the room. Vincent took Dirk outside with the other’s for fresh air, hand supporting him as he helped him from the booth where he had nearly collapsed by this point. They walked him outside, cameras following them where Jake and Jane blocked them with Jenna’s fiancé and Rachel’s older brother. Dirk had a mild attack in the bench outside the courthouse; Roxy had held him as he shook wildly. Vincent stood not too far away as Roxy rocked him gentle, the cameras being held back for now by their friends.

                And just like that, they were back in the courtroom. Dirk was breathing somewhat normally again, though his vision still blurred from time to time. He sat next to his lawyer as the verdict was written on a sheet of paper. The entire room looked truly grim. The jury handed their sheet of paper over to the bailiff and who then took it to the judge. She only took a few seconds before shaking her head. “No.” Everyone was dead quiet as she set down the paper, looking back up at the people waiting for their fate. “I’m overruling this. I thank the jury for their time, but this is far too lenient for this sort of predicament. Will the accused please rise.” Dirk, Roxy, Rachel, Daniel and their lawyers rose up. “In the case of Daniel Clemons, I sentence you to life in prison without parole. The lack of evidence was not so lacking, as I understand. There was video footage that has been verified of you not only exchanging dealings with Morris but also kidnapping several girls including Ms. LaLonde. Of course, there will be additional repercussions once your case is reviewed in one year’s time since I have just heard they have found ten more bodies underneath the Morris residence. Your lawyer has been informed.” Daniel snarled at her and a bailiff walked forward to put him in handcuffs, leading him away toward a double door where a group of Marshals were waiting for him.

                 “In the case of Rachel Gates and Roxy LaLonde, I clear you of all charges. There is not enough evidence for me to charge you with a thing. I am deeply sorry for what you both have faced.”  
  
                There was silence for a moment as Dirk looked up at the woman he found so strangely familar, “And in the case of Dirk Strider.” The judge looked up at him, over her mid shoulder black hair was put into a bun and her red rimmed glasses slid a bit off of her nose as she looked down at him. “Though I would have shot that man several more times if all of that was done to me- I applaud you for your bravery… and apologize for the suffering you have had to endure... But I cannot clear you of your charges. You still killed Nathanial Morris, who needed to be brought to justice as Clemons was. Without him, there is no evidence to support your end of the case and thus, I cannot claim with sound mind that this was solely self-defense. I sentence you to ten years in prison for first degree murder, with a review in six months. At that time, it will be considered if you are allowed parole and a significant lessening in your sentence for good behavior. I do not believe that you killed Jenna Summers and release you of that charge entirely.”

                Vincent was spluttering, calling for another trial. The judge held up her hand, “I highly recommend that you appeal to a higher court.” Vincent was still snarling as even camera men were yelling profanities and the judge told the blond she’d give him a moment to say his goodbyes as she went into her chambers. Dirk swallowed as Jake made a sound from his throat as the entire courtroom yelled their rage, it almost sounded like a whimper. Jake was shaking his head when Dirk turned, “No- No- I just got you back- I don’t care about what you said- no!” Jake shook his head near violently as Dirk reached over and hugged him goodbye. He pressed a kiss to his forehead and Jake clutched onto him tightly for a moment, breathing in his scent, then let go. Roxy was crying too hard to let go of Dirk when she received a hug and Jane nodded to him when he gave her a softened expression. When Jake failed, Jane would take care of the rest. He took her hand, squeezing it while one arm remained around Roxy. The bailiff came forward and cuffed Dirk. Vincent turned to Dirk, “I will fight this, Dirk. Don’t give up hope, we’ll fight this.” Dirk nodded, but the sound in the room had gone into a hum. The colors had gone gray almost. They lead him after Daniel, who was screaming at the top of his lungs for justice and into the back of a black police van.  
  
Dirk took a deep breath before breathing it out.  
He was going to jail.  
For defending his name, Jenna’s, Rachel’s, and all 114 people that were victims of Nathanial Morris and his family.  
And he was happy about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations, you've reached the end of Spectrum.  
> You've discovered what happened. You watched Dirk be taken, tortured, and rescued.  
> You watched the group be strong, fall and rise again.  
> Parting is such sweet sorrow...
> 
> If only you were at the end of the story.  
> Stay tuned for the new upcoming series following the continued dark adventure of Dirk Strider and his friends.


	16. Playlist For Spectrum Chapters

As promised, here is the playlist for this fanfiction and favorite lyric. Not to mention why or what scene the song was chosen for.

  * Miriam Bryant - Push Play  
"You painted black upon the whitest lies. You've seen them fall, you have seen them rise- -you drown your heroes in red wine."  
Scene: Dirk finally agrees to go to the club with the others and how they are expecting a happy night out.  
  

  * Three Days Grace - Painkiller  
"Never gonna let you get away- The shoulder you cry on, is the dose that you die on!"  
Scene: The drinking, neon lights, fight with Jake and then the waking up to Nathanial covers this song.  
  

  * Mourning Ritual - Bad Moon Rising  
"I hear hurricanes ablowing. I know the end is coming soon. I fear rivers over flowing. I hear the voice of rage and ruin."  
Scene: Jake and Dirk waking up to their situations.  
  

  * Miriam Bryant - Adrenaline  
"Follow me. Lose yourself. I need this pain to stay sane. There is no shame in being brave."  
Scene: Jake searching through Dirk's apartment. Seeing how terrible he was and what he has done. Dirk meeting Jenna.  
  

  * *Woodkid - Iron  
"A soldier on my own, I don't know the way. I'm riding up the heights of shame. I'm waiting for the call, the hand on the chest I'm ready for the fight and fate."  
Scene: The tone of the song is meant to establish a backing that things are turning darker. Dirk is being beaten, Jake is trying to save him, the drum background establishes a near tribal but darker hue of the situation they are in.  
  

  * Nina Simone - Sinnerman (The Thomas Crown Affair Edition)  
"So I run to the river, it was bleedin'. I run to the sea, it was boilin'. All on that day. So i run to the lord, "please hide me lord". "Don't you see me down here prayin'?" But the lord said, "Go to the devil!" So I ran to the devil, he was waitin'.  
Scene: The sense of urgency is heightened in this chapter. That Jake was trying everything he could but things were going to get worse and worse, but he couldn't do anything.   
  

  * BRMC - Beat The Devil's Tattoo  
"Everyone is king when there's no one left to pawn. There is no peace here, war is never cheap here."  
Scene: Dirk is slowly starting to give up. The beat of the song is slow, painful, and smooth. That he was slowly falling into his own depression.  
  

  * Rudimental - Powerless  
"Bury my ghost. Start my glory days, infiltrate my heart, and take the pain away. Took me time to see through your eyes. I need to be strong, but you have made me weak. I won't do you wrong. 'Cause these feelings run deep."  
Scene: While Dirk is beside Jenna's dead body, holding her dying son. The song sets a sense of regret and pure agony. Though it sounds upbeat, the lyrics are the regrets that are going through Dirk's head. He was powerless to stop the two most important things in his life at that moment from dying.  
  

  * Rihanna - Disturbia  
"It's a thief in the night, to come and grab you. It can creep up inside you, and consume you. A disease of the mind, it can control you. It's too close for comfort."  
Scene: As the song states, Dirk is slowly losing his mind. From the loss of Jenna, he is consumed by guilt and the shadows inside his own heart are coming out. Of course, Nathanial isn't helping him in the slightest.  
  

  * Seether - Hang On  
"Wish I was someone else. My hands are stained with love. Wish I could take it away."  
Scene: The title is accurate to what Dirk is feeling. He is slowly losing his mind, so he's decided his best idea would be to fight back. He sees himself in the one he is trying to fight, and thus he is going to fuck shit up as much as possible until they both die... Then Rachel comes in. Inspiring him to hang on a bit longer.  
  

  * Florence And The Machine - Seven Devils All Around Me  
"Holy water cannot help you now. See I've have to burn your kingdom down. And no rivers and no lakes can put the fire out. I'm gonna raise the stakes, I'm gonna smoke you out. I'll be dead before the day is done."  
Scene: All parties are starting to realize how deeply this horror story goes. Dirk is starting to delve deeply into his own mind to fight Nathanial. Roxy and Jake are developing a plan- meanwhile seeing they are indeed surrounded by devils. It is the chapter leading up to the end.  
  

  * Miriam Bryant - Raised In Rain  
"Born and raised in rain. Make me feel this way. Twenty pass forever started yesterday. I will call you shame when she knows it my name. Who is braver, this will safe her."  
Scene: This is the chapter of relief, death and freedom. What quells the internal and real fires of ones heart? Rain.  
  

  * Peter Bradley Adams - Darkening Sky  
"Oh come with me forever my love, under the darkening sky. Come hide with me, I'll save you my love. Hear me, I'll beg for you life."  
Scene: The song is meant to establish the previous relief was false. Yes, Dirk escaped. Yes, Rachel is still alive. But Dirk and Jake still are father apart that ever before and though Nathanial is dead... there are more just like him.  

  * Bastille - Oblivion  
"When you fall asleep with your head upon my shoulder. When you're in my arms, but you've gone somewhere deeper. When oblivion is calling out your name, You always take it further than I ever can."  
Scene: During Jenna's funeral, this is song is to show the tone of Dirk's inner emotions. How he is torn inside his heart as much as his body. Well... this chapter doesn't need much explaining for the song...  
  

  * The Neighbourhood - Wires  
"We talked about making it. I'm sorry that you never made it. And it pains me just to hear you have to say it. You knew the game and played it, it kills to know that you have been defeated, I see the wires pulling while you're breathing."  
Scene: The verdict hit Dirk hard, and the beat of the song shows that he doesn't feel it anymore. He feels too emotions. Guilt and Anger.


  * Zedd (Matthew Koma) - Spectrum  
"Breathing you in when I want you out. Finding our truth in a hope of doubt. Lying inside our quiet drama. Wearing your heart like a stolen dream. Opening skies with your broken keys. No one can blind us any longer."  
Scene: Though despite how tragic this fanfic is, the next in the series is going to be one hell of a ride. ;)




End file.
